Twisted Mistress

I'm almost as much of a bitch in real life as I am on the internet...or vice versa, you figure it out.
Even my kids think I'm hilarious.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Some people make me want to give them a special kind of personalized gift that keeps on giving, like a #Poltergeist for example...

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@Moes_HQ I use a spoon simply so I won't look like an uncouth animal.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

#Trueconfession: I hate how the older I get, the more cynical I become. Like, I think I was born cynical as it is, so now it's just painful. I could also be having a midlife crisis too but that would mean I'm older than I want to believe or admit.

[Patricia Heaton @PatriciaHeaton]

I wasn’t happy when Clinton, Obama or Biden won, but I didn’t call them fascist/dangerous/threat to democracy. I didn’t hope someone would assassinate them. I went on with my life with gratitude. Friends on the left, please try this. Your life and our country will be better.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@NewswirePatriot She is garbage, but not because Trump said so.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@kdh4potus @KamalaHarris Thank God! I get a headache just thinking about the unintelligent word salad vomit.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

#TBT When #HalfTime was about bringing people together instead of trying to tear them down & tear us apart...& it took talent to play the #SuperBowl
https://t.co/9aMGofrhho
"Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called 'life'..."
#Prince

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@TrumpsHurricane Word salad & that cackle.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

I will never understand people who make a conscious choice for #Pepsi over #Coke. @CocaCola for the win, always.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Also, stretch denim is CRAP. It shows every crease & fat roll everywhere. MAKE DENIM REAL AGAIN, it was worth the price difference.
#makerealdenimagain

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Unpopular opinion: Body shaming should be accepted if for no other reason than bc sizing was more consistent. When ur a 7-13 in one brand alone & have to try several sizes to figure out what fits before you can decide what you want, it's ridiculous.
#bringbackbodyshaming

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

#ThatMomentWhen we both order pizza & don't realize it until after the fact. I'm #TeamPizzaHut while he's #teamdominos. Idk how we make this work....
@pizzahut @dominos

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Stupid @Starbucks has discontinued the ONE hot drink I look forward to when it's cold out. If anyone knows where I can get a hot caramel apple cider, please let me know.
#Starbucks
#idontdrinkcoffee

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@tigerswim78 I'm still trying to find out....

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@AmberJoCooper I really want to know who this woman is, teaching in my school district.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Listening to #80son8. I didn't care in 1989 but today suddenly need to know what the heck is a Buffalo Stance.....
#nenacherry

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@RealJamesWoods For us kids who grew up during the late 80s, early 90s....TIPPER. aka the original Karen.

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

It's amazing how #cats are so in tune to their surroundings. They can be completely asleep but hear the clank of a fork against the side of a bowl & BOOM! They're up & all over it. 🤣

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@therealroseanne Calling Howard Stern a pussy...I read it in a "Roseanne" voice in my head. 🤣 I hope he invites you on his show so you can do it in person!

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

Watching #Yellowjackets makes me think I could successfully start my own cult....but that I start with an LLC...

[Twisted Mistress @killerqueen013]

@EWErickson Bullshit.