Kim Glaser

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Just hurt my wrist kneading bread dough. 🤦🏻‍♀️ Apologies to my late mother-in-law for laughing at her when she “hurt her back” rolling Christmas bobalkis. #youngatheart #oldatjoints

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

My toxic trait is always believing that I will actually eat any of the cottage cheese that I buy. #itsaproblem #wasted #cantstopwontstop

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

I wish I had half the tenacity and determination in my life of these gnats flying in my face while I do yard work. I’d have a rocking body and 3 PhD’s by now.

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Three cars in the parking lot and I still tried to get into the wrong one. 💁🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ I’ve come to accept the fact that some things will never change. #AgingGracefully #AtLeastThatsWhatITellMyself

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

I love my high tech car, but I wish I could tell it that the mulch in my front seat doesn’t need to be buckled up. #beep #beepbeep #beepbeepbeep #omgstop

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Last thing I ate last night. Pie. First thing I ate this morning. Pie. Last thing I will eat tonight. Pie. And Tums. #noregrets

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

@Gtwy @TheBabylonBee Just saw this James! And I’m definitely a fan of that satirical gold! 😂

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Hey! I put makeup on today! 🙌💪🏼💯👏👏👏👏👏 #lookinggoodformydog #itsthelittlethings #covid_19 #QuarantineLife

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Hey @Wendys - My diet never started, but if it had it would be over now. That maple bacon chicken croissant had me like... #omg #WendysBreakfast #wherehaveyoubeen #whatareyouevendoing #imshook

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

The only good thing about going to the dentist is that you get to lay down. Nothing else.

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Did you ever make chocolate icing just so you could eat spoonfuls of chocolate icing? Yeah, me either... **licks spoon**

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

This is the company I work for and #wegotadeal with Lori! #sharktankabc

[Lori Greiner @LoriGreiner]

This is the most genius screen I've ever seen & the quality is fantastic too! #SharkTank @ABCSharkTank @FlexScreenUSA Get yours here https://t.co/GEWUcWczo3

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

I know that socks always get the “best disappearing act” award. But let me tell you, my money is on the dropped contact lens. Every. Single. Dang. Time. #itwasrightthere #isawitdrop #iwatcheditfall #isawitland #gone #solidgone #goodbyemoney #helloglasses #dangit

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

And this is my job! 👏🤗❤️🙌

[Joe Altieri @joealtieri]

FlexScreen goes Hollywood! Check out the HUGE secret that I’ve been keeping for months. 🤩 @ABCSharkTank #flexscreen #SharkTank

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

3 minute drive from Aldi to my house. Tore open the chips AND the French onion dip in the car anyway. I mean, anything could happen. #getinmybellynow @AldiUSA

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Dear @AtHomeStores in Monroeville... your piercing bird whistle back door alarm has been chirping every 30 seconds since April. Reset it already, k? Much obliged! #cantbethathard

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

It seems to me that 90% of the fancy convertible sports car owners are older, bald men. And this is as it should be, because they’ll never look like Bob Dylan in a hurricane, which is my signature convertible look. #baldisbeautiful #andpractical

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Dear Body: I am an official senior citizen. All of my pimple-producing hormones are long gone. Please get with the program. #oldagehasmanybenefits #nozitsshouldbeoneofthem #myconcealerisstartingtomakedemands

[Kim Glaser @kim_glaser]

Cooking host describes amazing PB & chocolate dessert in oven. Pulls it out and casually remarks, “Oh, and I switched the chocolate chips for butterscotch.” And everyone just stood there and nodded and acted like that was OK. 😳#changingthechannelnow #prettysurewecantbefriends

[Presiding Bishop Michael Curry @PB_Curry]

Sacrificial, redemptive love changes lives, and it can change this world.
#anglican #episcopal #jesusmovement #royalwedding