Kim Herrmann

I like paper, dogs, karaoke, tacos, and I probably like you.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

Guys, I hit my comedic peak last night.
I hosted trivia to an audience of one single dude in a pizza joint. I’ll probably never do anything funnier than this.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@cig_farmer Every 3 months is only 4 times a year! I get my hair cut too at this frequency because I also want long hair but not split ends!

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

Forget premarital counseling, engaged couples should have to potty train a toddler together

[pat regan @poregan]

Literally raise ur glass if u r wrong in all the right ways

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

Girlboss, Put Your Records On

[Bright Light Bright Light @brightlightx2]

I'm still so upset that Gaga wasn't saying "red wine" at the start of Just Dance. I thought that was so cool.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@cig_farmer I guess we’re going down together 😔

[amil @amil]

I like to think of Amy (burrito) and Annie (mac n cheese) as estranged sisters

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@cig_farmer I have struggled to remember this exact movie title too

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@cig_farmer That’s right

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

Asking my husband for a huge favor and saying “I would love you forever if you could do this for me” but then realizing I already promised that 😬 by marrying him.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@CourtneyEcherd Yes!!! I feel like I explain this a lot. I always call a California King an “NBA player single bed” to explain

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@ghoulroline Dude my mom had one of these too and leaked it to the family group chat

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@LasCulturistas LOVE YOU @LASCULTURISTAS BUT ACTUALLY THE ROOM IN THE DELTA SKY LOUNGE WITH ONLY A CHAIR & A SINK IS DEFINITELY A LACTATION ROOM FOR MOTHERS TO NURSE THEIR INFANTS OR PUMP BREASTMILK - ROOMS LIKE THIS ARE CRITICAL FOR THE HEALTH OF MOMS & BABIES AND SHOULD BE MORE ACCESSIBLE!

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@LeighTruemper @kroger You’re my little squeak.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@shop Pay is GREAT except for the fact that it seems to prevent me from being able to mark a purchase as a gift & remove cost on invoice, or write a gift message.
I've had this issue recently at @StanleyBrand and @PipetteBaby

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

Moms with apple watches be hitting their Stand goal before dinnertime

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

This is me and my husband’s NUMBER ONE argument when we are at the beach.

[Kim Herrmann @kimherrm]

@iamwhoisam A slushie and the purple bag of Skittles. Sublime.

[Ben Boven @benboven1]

30 years ago, 4 Non Blondes asked us a question we still can't answer.