Its hurt. Fucking hurt. I hate myself for not listening to my instinct, a gift from GoD that until now I still learning how to controls it. Oh dear GoD…
Today, another truth slaps my soul. Because I still seeking if any of this is true, and to give me some closure. Satu penganiayaan paling sakit saya pernah hadap.
I can tolerate with mistakes with your behaviour- but when there’s sneaky act and cover up conversations with third person is consider a micro cheating
I feel numb. Empty. Deeply grieving and unexplainable pain that I need to deal. I acknowledge every flaws and lies. Slowly gaining a trust and believing in myself.
Fucking hurt.
Its truly fucking painful.
I wish it turn out better, I want it too. I need it. But I realise, enough is enough. I can’t let myself in such a miserable, lonely, depressing life anymore.
Tho my heart is still broken and damage, I still and always loving you
I paused myself for awhile.
Him : I want to bring you out..
Sis masih lagi diam.
And I gave him my Instagram.
Him : I will message you..
Sis kena maintain cool, jual mahal. Padahal senyum sampai ke telinga, nasib cover dengan mask
He recognised me and said hye,
Him : remember me?
Me : Yes I do remember you.
Him : Shopping alone by yourself ? (dia jeling ke shopping bag sis)
Me : Yes, I prefer to alone cause I dont want people to wait for me..
Him : It must heavy..
(dia cuba angkat shopping bag sis)
Me: Used to it already…
Berborak dengan dia dekat drop off area sampai tak perasan dah nak 30minutes.
I feel comfortable talking to him tho he’s a stranger. And bila sis nak kena gerak sebab driver dah nak sampai, he asked again.
Him: how should I contact you?