Emily Tellman

hobbies include: dogs, beer, and laughing at my own jokes. aspiring grown-up.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

Sitting in a log cabin in the northeast drinking scotch and brooding. All the makings of a tortured genius minus the genius.

#torturedsoul

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@Mitchell_Eason YOOOO EXCUSE ME MITCH. I AM WATCHING SURVIVOR 41 RN AND I'D LIKE TO DOUBLE DOWN. #mitch4survivor

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@Mitchell_Eason I'M TRYNA SEE YOU ON @survivorcbs

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@EVR1022 @AlexWestNBA Who is that handsome big shot?!

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

“Yeah, I’d eat hot hamburger off the floor too.” -@AlexWestNBA

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@AlexWestNBA @CenturyLink @CenturyLinkHelp

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@AlexWestNBA @CenturyLink Truuuuuuuuuuue. Pretty egregious @CenturyLink. We pay too much for this mess. Do better.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

Bless.

[Capitol Lounge @CapLounge]

Available at 12:01AM

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@AlexWestNBA Omg date me

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

Jimmy G has a torn ACL, a serial predator gets three years in jail, and Telltale Games is going away. Happy fucking Monday, world.
#JimmyGaroppolo #CosbySentencing #TelltaleGames #bye #nomorenews #themostmondayofmondays

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

Tell me this: what greater pleasure is there in life than peeing with the door open?

#recklessabandon #bachelorettelife #liberatedwoman #embracethesolitude #butactually #alexcomehome

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@yakuzadryclean Hey Jordan. Hey. Hey. Jordan. Hey Jordan is this about MY adorable little monster??? :D

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@yakuzadryclean

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@GlowNetflix is criminally underrated.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@AlexWestNBA @EVR1022 Sure but that doesn't do much for the sense of betrayal

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@EVR1022 Booooooooo.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@yakuzadryclean @AlexWestNBA A shower beer a day has been proven to drastically increase goodness. Its science.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@TJ_Burns_Nc @AlexWestNBA Good for what ails you. Or...ALES you. Oh me.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

What can I say? I'm a catch https://t.co/HSDX0tKRVr

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

@AlexWestNBA That was a deeply private moment, not intended for your eyes or ears.

[Emily Tellman @king_tszuj]

WOOOOOOW. HE DID THE FORTNITE DANCE TACKYYYYYYYYY

#tackytackytacky #gtfo