Azalin Rex

Ah, cruel fate! That I, the greatest mind in the Demiplane of Dread, should be cursed so that I cannot retain knowledge of new spells or social media platforms.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

ATTN: I am seeking an Apprentice.

Qualifications:
- VERY good memory and attention to detail.
- Intelligence score of 16 or higher.
- Wisdom score of 9 or lower.
- Little regard for human life.
- No ambition.
- Not undead (yet).

Compensation:
- Unpaid. Can offer College credit.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Ahem. Spoilers.

[Dungeons & Dragons @Wizards_DnD]

The Mist Beckons! Get pulled into Van Richten’s Guide to Ravenloft on May 18th. New flavors of horror beyond Strahd’s Domain await: Creepy dolls, cosmic thralls, zombie hordes, mummy lords and more!

Preorder Van Richten's Guide to #Ravenloft: https://t.co/cGnpy42QHo

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@suzieboozieb If you find it, let me know. You will be well-rewarded. Eternal life or some such.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

I rise! Again.

Now, then. Has anyone seen my spellbook?

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@TouchOfWinter1 Mmm. Suspicious. The Kargat have been notified to keep watch on you.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@brittanybwrites I am the minds, hearts, souls of the shadow realm Darkon! I am the nail in the pretender Strahd's coffin!

And do not let my appearance fool you: I am quite accomplished at salsa dancing.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@elysianechoes Would you perhaps be interested in an unpaid internship? I will allow you to bring those scrolls to my castle.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@EzmereldaDAveni @StrahdVonZ Blasted vampire! Which cape closet is it in? A6? B13? I shall send my son, Death, to retrieve it.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@kayncli @mercyfuldm @Billoftheforest @tkjoinsthefray @MistTalesDnD WHO IS THIS VASILY? How did they find my phylactery?

Lowellyn, am I doing this right? Will the wretches that dared stir my ancient ire be able to see my Dark Twittering?

Lowellyn??? what do all of these squiggly lines that appear under your name mean

I will have my vengeance!

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

We are here looking for new neighbors. And subtweets.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Citizens of Darkon do not suffer winter because of groundhogs, or other baseless superstitions.

We suffer long winters because of the hexes of Vistani crones employed by @StrahdVonZ. It is our petty neighbor who is responsible for your frostbite and firewood bills. #BlameBarovia

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Ladies, if he

- comes from a wealthy family of noblemen
- looks really, REALLY good for his age
- lives "alone" in a massive castle
- owns 27 capes, all the same
- keeps staring at you strangely and calling you Tatyana

You should definitely run. It's serial-stalker @StrahdVonZ

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@KielChenier @StrahdVonZ Also, here is a stat block that you can feel free to use.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@KielChenier For my (& Ravenloft's) greatest adventures, see The Grand Conjunction series and Grim Harvest trilogy.

For biography, look no further than "King of the Dead" and "Lord of the Necropolis".

Avoid entirely "I, Strahd: The War Against Azalin". It's shameless @StrahdVonZ propaganda.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@originalmalkav @StrahdVonZ @TrueLordSoth Vecna is a short-sighted pretender, with petty ambitions.

Soth is a glorified minion, but he has, at least, good fashion sense.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Happy New Year. Here is a free #dnd stat block for you to use to obliterate those pesky adventurers.

You will notice that it is much better than @StrahdVonZ's, as it should be. Stick to your "promising" career as a dubstep DJ, Count.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@Lostone1980 @OldschoolDunge1 @StrahdVonZ I have no flaws!

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

@Lostone1980 @undyingpharoah @VlaakithCLVII @LluisAbadias Darkon welcomes everyone into its borders.

Darkon is the only vacation anyone requires.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Well done, apprentice @deathbybadger.

In 2019, you will all become citizens of Darkon.

[Azalin Rex @KingAzalinRex]

Ladies, if he

- comes from a wealthy family of noblemen
- looks really, REALLY good for his age
- lives "alone" in a massive castle
- owns 27 capes, all the same
- keeps staring at you strangely and calling you Tatyana

You should definitely run. It's serial-stalker @StrahdVonZ

[Archlich Acererak @ArchlichEternal]

Weekend checklist:
- Slay one party of interlopers ✅
- Gemstone polishing ✅
- Feed the four-armed gargoyles ✅
- Poker with my fellow liches @ActuallyVecna @Confused_Lich @VlaakithCLVII @KingAzalinRex @YaNightmareTam
- Study the Black Lore of Moil ✅