Kyle Orton

i guess i play for the Bills now? wow. lol

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Same thing goes when I'm slaying cooch. I can't give every skank the full Orton. I'll turn that gash into haggis brosef! BOOSH!!

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

God put a rocket launcher on my shoulder jack, I can't be out here blowing holes in everyone's chests. There's only so many WRs on the team

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Coach'll be like "Why'd you check down here Orton?"

I'm like "Sometimes you gotta pull the reins on the dragon there hoss."

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Sometimes when we're watching game film I'll just start jerking off to these tight ass spirals I keep throwing. Good Lord they're beautiful

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Gotta get my arm ready for this weekend. I promised a lot of skanks a good fingerblasting when I came back to Denver & I'm a man of my word

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Pro tip: If you want to get bombed mid-game but your coach is being a dick about it, soak your cope in Everclear. https://t.co/AjGCjzMd1g

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Hey @dallascowboys looks like you fuckers let the wrong dude fake retire and then sign with another team
#Queerbots

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

You're not dreaming, your boy Papa O is for real... This ones for you Buffalo http://t.co/wgW6DdCfrq

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Game Prediction- your boy KOs got a mustache like Selleck and my spirals are pure sex, so lots of Buffalo ladies are getting pregnant today

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

A lot of people wondering why I shaved the Neckbeard down to a pornstache... I don't know, why don't you ask your girls dripping panties why

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

I hope I don't run into that chick this time. Papa O does NOT believe in rubbers. But we were outside and it was raining so I should be cool

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

last time I was in DET I got so shitfaced and pulled an Alaskan Firedragon on some Canadian skank in a Krogers parking lot. It was awesome!

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

"We're playing in DET, we played HOU last week. Jesus Orton how drunk are you?" Coach asks.
"If we're going to Detroit, not drunk enough"

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

*2 min later*
(Phone rings- coach whocares answers)
"This is Coach"
"Shut up. Tell HOU to prepare their anus because Papa O's coming. BOOSH"

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

*phone rings*
(I answer, its coach whofuckingcares)
"Orton! Get up youre starting!"
"Fuck you. No one tells Papa Orton what to do"
I hang up

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Sorry PC police... "Chippewa Native American". At least I didn't say Redskin you fuckers! Haha #NOBAMA

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

What have I been up to for the last 8 months? Let's see... I banged my first Chippewa Indian. That was pretty awesome.

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

How to beat the system: 1) in July turn off your phone 2) 8 week bender 3) wake up in Buffalo with no fines and a new deal. Pretty simple

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

People keep saying I beat the system. Of course I did. Your boy KO knows a thing or two about fucking "the man"! (And the skanky ladies)

[Kyle Orton @KingNeckbeard]

Whatever. I'm not sweatin it. At least I didn't have to deal with training camp or practice or any of that annoying bullshit #focusonbutts