Rachel Eddy

Who made me King of Eddything?

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

#ArrestedDevelopment #KimKardashian #banana

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

I entered the $25 Merrily We Roll Along CheapTix Lottery on @TodayTix! Tap here to enter: https://t.co/EUwAnK3xvM

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Next time I’m pissed with my boyf I’m going to tell him the cocktail party is cancelled

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

As soon as I figure out what hyaluronic acid is, it’s over for you bitches

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

I entered to win $15 tix to see Assassins on @TodayTix! Enter here: https://t.co/njK1qZuwon

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Starting a seminar to help straight boys find happiness. First lesson: accept that Tom Brady will always win.

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

It’s the level of cold in my apartment where I’ve turned into FDR at my desk (blanket on lap)

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Unfortch we can’t yet solve global warming because all of the world’s best scientists have been commissioned to figure out how to put glass in the number 2 for the new year

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

What if, all along, the honey pokey was what it’s all about?

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Using a bidet is like that carnival game where you shoot water guns at a target, but instead of getting a teddy bear, your prize is not using an entire roll of toilet paper

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

#BachelorInParadise has Beetlejuice rules: if the contestants say someone’s name three times, they will walk down the steps

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Are we gonna talk about Nicole Kidman’s accent in Nine Perfect Strangers, or?

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Is vocal fry a prerequisite for becoming a pilot?

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

@LasCulturistas #fyc for Best Teacher We Ever Had (Teacher Respect Award)

[The Dodo @dodo]

This adorable little troublemaker leaves a trail of treats wherever he goes. ❤️ #ad

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Life hack: if you need to go and can’t find a bathroom, ask the nearest UPS for for a Cologuard box #Sponsored

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Never related more to the Gemini stereotypes as rn, post one year + of full social lockdown. This is your warning—buckle up for a weird SZN y’all!

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

Just confirmed: Olivia Rodrigo actually wrote “Sour” for every person who’s ever dated someone in a musical theatre conservatory program

[Rachel Eddy @kingofeddything]

@thetzechun Us too

[Marc Hofstatter @TheHofstatter]

@thetzechun I'm in for Jew-ish. Whoops, Google tells me it's already been done.