Turtle

Music, art, movies, and everything in-between. also a Big Idiot™️

Whatever happens, happens

[Turtle @KingTheTurtle]

😔😔

[gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi]

Been there brother

[. @playboicurrryy]

saying "are our" in a sentence

[Dillon Cheverere @DCheverere]

Catch me leaving the function with ur girl in the floaters https://t.co/gWsJiOJSpV

[Blake ™ @NeilNevins]

(Austin Powers game tutorial level)

Austin: Wait a tick. When’s the last time I opened my shag bag?

Basil: Good thinking, Austin! Why not press ⭕️ and check your inventory?

Austin: I do pride myself in pressing the right buttons, don’t I? YEAH, BABY.

[snout and slobber @cretincastle]

(Austin powers sees first plane hit the twin towers)
naughty pilot
(second plane)
wait a tick

[@realWokeism @realWokeism]

Karl Marx failed to consider the Steam Summer Sale

[Cloudy 🌥️ (real angel) @oncloud_e]

mage gap relationship where they know infinitely more spells than you

[Jacobin @jacobin]

Mayor Zohran Mamdani mocks Ronald Reagan’s infamous quote.

“I can think of nine words more terrifying than ‘I’m from the government and I’m here to help…’”

“I worked all day and can’t feed my family.”

[sam (MEN AND MINORS DNI) @butchbiting]

are those... *gulp* your boobs...

[powerful wizerd @powerfulwizerd]

Google “Beer” right now. you’re gonna like what you see

[Errai @errai]

Going to the zoo in your 30s is like hey it’s my man boa constrictor how you been

[matt @mattybtweets69]

There’s a disease going so viral that you can catch it just by looking at someone with it. It’s called, a smile :)

[Anthony Bourdain @Bourdain]

One more episode of "My Little Pony", pop a Valium. Fly to Finland.

[Mads @europemaxxed]

busy weekend

[fishious @fishquichee]

Smoking weed and googling things

[tt✮⋆ @Bluebirdeyessss]

i love being in STEM (shenanigans, tomfoolery, escapades, and mischief)

[Softboy @softboywin]

starting the second half of your sandwich is like hell yeah baby let’s run it back

[Kevin T. Porter @KevinTPorter]

I’m the DJ at your son’s bar mitzvah and I’m really bad at it

[Soulja Boy @souljaboy]

on email talking to Obama about this whole troop situation. wow

[matt bernstein @mattxiv]

poop teams up with shit