Pete Jones

not the brightest bowl in the bowl drawer

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

McDonald’s should rename the McChicken to the McMayo because seriously what the fuck how are they measuring this shit out

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Will I ever not cry at Armageddon??

I am such a pussy dear lord.

[The Night Warrior @WarriorNight007]

@notgwendalupe

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

I mean… don’t you lose respect for anyone who only thought America was great when minorities & women had no rights or voice?

Not only do I lose respect. I think you’re fucking insane.

[Devin Duke @sirDukeDevin]

Do you?

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

I miss Twitter. FUCK this app & all of the trash I see on here when I do check it. I can’t even navigate the shit anymore. All I see is tits I didn’t ask for & absurd Trump cult followers posting things that make me wonder what stunted their brain growth.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

@elonmusk Most of us barely are making enough money to support ourselves. So…even those of us who would like to have kids cannot responsibly do so!

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

I hate the word panties. I can’t even say it out loud.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Why is every intrusive thought in my head voiced by @nickkroll

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Alright I’m gonna say it. I hope you starve. & shit your pants in front of someone you have a crush on.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

This is….disgusting. & of course it’s a white dude who looks like he’s had everything handed to him in life. I don’t like to wish bad things on people but, if something bad happened to this weiner I’d lol

[Ron Filipkowski @RonFilipkowski]

Newsmax host taunts people complaining about migrant deportations of Latinos by eating a taco on air.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Will Forte. What did we ever do to deserve him? What a gift.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Two story houses are only cool if there are bathrooms on both floors.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Wait. Ryan Gosling is actually so funny in Barbie.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Casey Affleck>>>>>Ben Affleck

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

75% of this room is snoring right now.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Karlye’s cat stepped on her phone & it started voice recording & it’s literally Karlye singing “We Wish You a Merry Christmas.” I’m gonna pass out.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

I need to know what kind of hair products they’re using in Top Gun. These mfs never have helmet hair. Ever.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

@DavidKHarbour is an absolute fuckin daddy. Idc what anyone says.

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

Happy 2 year anniversary of me shaving my head!! As annoying as growing it out has been, being bald for a whole year was one of the best things I ever did for myself. & I have never once regretted it. 🥳

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

@KarlJonzu @NamSunnally now you have to fight them all

[Pete Jones @kinkykellay]

@KarlJonzu I will take them into my house if they don’t want to ☹️