This clip, from Larry David's new show "Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness" is one of his FUNNIEST ever.
Awesome to have Rob Reiner as George Washington in possibly one of his final on-screen performances.
Cameo by Kimmel is chef's kiss.
RIP, Rob Reiner.
I hope everyone had a great 4th of July. I know @realDonaldTrump and family did.
250 years ago we declared independence from a king who ran the colonies as a family business. In just 18 months the Trumps have made King George look like an amateur.
A $620 million Pentagon loan, the largest in the program’s history, to a company Don Jr.’s firm bought into three months before.
An Air Force drone contract to a startup the princelings took public through a golf course company they own a piece of.
The Army’s largest drone motor order ever, to a company where Don Jr. sits on the board and holds millions in stock.
A $24 million Pentagon robotics contract to the company that employs Eric as Chief Strategy Advisor.
A stake in the largest undeveloped tungsten deposit on earth, in Kazakhstan, backed by $1.6 billion in US government support.
Jared’s fund seeded with $2 billion from the Saudi crown prince, now $6.2 billion, 99% of it foreign money from Gulf governments. Over $110 million in fees collected from the Saudis alone. He negotiates American foreign policy with the governments that pay him.
$2.3 billion from crypto ventures their father regulates. More than a million people bought in and lost $2.3 billion. The money didn’t grow. It simply moved from the subjects pockets to the crown’s coffers.
And the next one is already drafted. A proposed ATF rule that will allow guns to be shipped straight to your front door. The government’s own estimate is 3.3 million home gun deliveries a year. Don Jr. sits on the board of the online gun megastore built to cash in. He holds 300,000 shares.
And that’s only the fraction they’ve allowed us to see. Not one subpoena served. Not one search executed. Why hide anything when you own the investigators?
Me? They searched a laptop for six years. Federal prosecutors. Grand juries. Subpoena power. Congressional hearings. They found nothing. I made about $200k a year selling paintings when my Dad was President, and they made my paintings part of an impeachment inquiry.
For six years they’ve asked Where’s Hunter? What about the laptop?
Wrong questions. The right one is 250 years old. Does America belong to a family?
They’ve given their answer. Long live the King.
Trump wants to cut down Washington DC's oldest grove of cherry trees along the Mall and eliminate the public biking path and picnic areas so he can build a Trump golf course on public land, using public dollars, and taking spaces away from the public.
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It's a year since I was bitten by ticks and given Lyme Disease.. as there are many of the little terrors about again now, its a good time to share this article I wrote at the time, with tips for what to look for and what to do if bitten.🙏
Please share!
https://t.co/BvdvHx5BOa
Once upon a time in a little forest there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake.
By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.
One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest and the snake was slithering through the forest when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down.
This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.
Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."
"It's OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."
"Oh, that would be wonderful,” replied the bunny.
So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur, you have really long ears, your nose twitches, and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say you must be a bunny.”
“Oh, thank you!” cried the bunny. Then the bunny said to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw and help you the same way you helped me."
The snake thought this was a fine idea so the bunny felt the snake all over and said, "Well, you're smooth and slippery and have a forked tongue, but no backbone and no balls...
I think you might be Donald Trump.”
A narcissist will start a war with you out of nowhere.
You weren’t bothering them.
You weren’t threatening them.
You weren’t even thinking about them.
They saw you.
They targeted you.
And they started destroying your reputation before you even knew you were under attack.
You did nothing wrong.
You are not the “dangerous one” they’re describing.
You are, in fact, one of the genuinely good ones.
And that is exactly the problem.
🧵