i am chillin

combat medic

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

I was on cash cab once but Ben Bailey kicked me out on 125th street cause I was too smart

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Trust in god

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

I am so divinely protected

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Good ole ween. Time to hit the air duster can

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Bad company corrupts good morals

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Half a honey pack then quick j/o sesh

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

I wanna see the light see my prophecy unfold

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

I ask the employees at the aquarium store would you rather chug the hot sauce (8oz bottle of mango tango mild heat) or the copopodes (6oz of lots of microscopic crustaceans and salt water) they chose copopodes

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Bitch what’s the matter go wipe ya snout!

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

@brian_t_muldoon I think u might be gay bro

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

My gf has diarrhea and I told her we need to try anal again so I can clear her out. I told her a little mud on my fishing pole never hurt me

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

The anticipation of joy and the motivation to pursue it

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Life has been more fun since becoming retarded

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

@highabsurdist @xiinpng Date one for a month & you’ll come out loving and appreciating yourself more than you ever have in your life

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Got my lady in my off white, $1200 hoodie

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

@theashleyray The specific situation is that he’s black and acts silly btw

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

There’s a gate in the sky & I hold the keys

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

sell everything. exit all markets. sell your dollars. sell your gold. sell your housing. sell your stocks. sell your bonds. sell it all. sell every single asset you own

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

I saw a bunch of squirrels on my garden so I threw lure at one and gave it a small hooking. I didnt yank it enough to pierce all the way but maybe it will understand

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

If I was an Air Force pilot I’d take a nip and a pooter before every flight

[i am chillin @kitchenswords]

Jewish girls always got boy names