Kim Jong-un

Great Successor, son of the Dear Leader, president of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Pleased to announce am now preparing to take control of Democratic People’s Republic of #fediverse through new juche elephant technology.

Loyal followers may follow me at https://t.co/JUFv0Lp34L.

Disloyal followers may report to re-education camps for “correction”.

#mastodon

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Picture of me informing citizens of #dprk that they must support my vision of hardcore DPRK 2.0 and commit to “long hours at high intensity.” Failure to commit fully will result in severance of anything that can be severed.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

I pity #russia. It must be terrible to be an isolated pariah state whose only friend is China, ruled by a crazed dictator, economy in ruins, only their nuclear weapons saving them from irrelevance.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Pleased to see that Comrade Putin is bringing stability and order of single-party gangster-police state to Ukrainians who have suffered through chaos of democracy. Soon whole world will know joys of autocracy.

#ukraine

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Inspired by noble example of heroic Comrade Putin, am thinking now might be good time to invade South Korea while Americans are distracted.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Hardest part of job as Dear Leader is consoling heartbroken children too young to show love for homeland & party by volunteering at coal mine.

They are crushed by sadness, just as their older brothers & sisters will one day be crushed by heavy machinery.

https://t.co/Z6GkW7LYAN

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

In Republican People’s Democracy of USA, loyal followers of Orange Leader demand immediate end to failed democratic experiment, publicly acknowledge superiority of one-party state and rule by enlightened leader.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

We have proof that election in USA was rigged.

All ballots landed in Maine from North Korean boats were pre-printed with name of Kim Jong-Un for president.

But instead of Kim, Americans now claim Joe Democracy is president.

Transparent fraud! Shameful!

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Thanks to juche system and wisdom of Dear Leader Kim, #dprk now has dolphins with very bright flashlights.

Sharks with laser beams follow soon.

[U.S. Naval Institute @NavalInstitute]

New Evidence Suggests North Korea has a Naval Marine Mammal Program - USNI News
https://t.co/LPXTOXVWJ0

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Struggle between rival warlords Biden & Trump continues in Disunited States of America, bringing fear & bloodshed. Yet Americans continue to reject obvious merits of juche system with peace & stability under wise rule of virtuous Dear Leader Kim.

Why do they embrace self-harm?

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

I will miss the Orange One if he is replaced by new Capitalist Leader Joe Democracy.

I got shopping trips to Hanoi and Singapore & I didn’t even have to give up any bombs. In America, this is called very artful deal.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Encouraged by news that Orange One intends to fire at his Defense Secretary and Chief Spy Woman today. Better.

Note: word “at” missing in original tweet. Orange One will doubtless wish to punish journalist for poor proofreading later.

[Josh Rogin @joshrogin]

Hearing from multiple administration sources that Trump might fire Defense Secretary Mark Esper, as early as today. Maybe CIA Director Gina Haspel too.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

The Orange One will soon send in the tanks to crush the cheering rebels, yes?

Juche says a great leader acts promptly to suppress dissent. Waiting too long shows moral weakness.

Future leaders Trump-Jr-Don and Trump-Er-Ic must be greatly ashamed.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Watched speech by the Orange One. Kept waiting for him to turn anti-aircraft guns on the crowd, but for some reason he did not do that. Weakling.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

I am giving back to the community!

All Bitcoin sent to the address below will be doubled! If you send 1 BTC, I will send back 2 KPW. Only doing this for 24 hours.

dprkpy0ngy4ngattnd34rl343r

Enjoy!

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Had fruitful conversation with Trump of USA. Encouraged me to resume nuclear program and “unite against common enemy South Korea”. Urged me to “nuke the #kpopstans”.

Not sure what caused this change of heart, but gave order to restart centrifuges anyway.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Still can’t find out if I’m dead or not. No one here wants to be first to tell me the bad news.

Reloading Google News every 5 minutes, but that’s no help either.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

At this time have no official announcement to make on whether I am in fact dead or not.

However, in accordance with juche principles, will continue to rule #dprk even if I am, as many suspect, dead.

Continuity of leadership is another virtue of great #dprk juche system.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Loyal subject Trump Donald, party chief in our vassal state of USA, offers tribute to victorious #dprk.

Juche wisdom of Glorious Young Leader Kim (me) has already defeated coronavirus on ideological plane, but gesture of subservience on part of USA is acknowledged.

[Kim Jong-un @kj_un]

Recent study shows that thanks to juche wisdom and inspired leadership, blessed #dprk remains 100% virus-free.

(study sample size n=1, male subject, age: 37, residence: Pyongyang, occupation: head of state, other details withheld to preserve patient privacy).

[BaElly Mudzingwa @MunyaMudzingwa]

@kj_un Kim the great leader-North korea is covid-19 free due to its borders tightness