like, the liam payne i would be mourning over has not existed for a very long time. that illusion was shattered years ago. but i can’t act like those high school/early college years weren’t formative to who I am and shaped so many aspects of my life
it is just so strange to go from adoring a musician for years during the peak of your adolescence, have to then come to terms with the fact he is abusive and cruel in reality, and then have to learn of his gruesome death and try to fit that all into a neat statement