KJ

Often I text drafts that I'll never actually tweet to @WatchJ ... and we laugh and laugh and send each other high-5 emojis. Also, we don't get laid a lot.

[KJ @kjNYC]

When the man in the wheelchair reminds us of our privilege to walk, we don’t tell him that all limbs matter.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@AdamZHerman If this is over by Wednesday night, we should all wear Knicks gear and carry brooms for the rest of the week.

[KJ @kjNYC]

Listening to my children share strange observations about their own fecal matter is both disgusting and endearing.

[blue @bluewmist]

after a certain age, it is literally your responsibility, no one’s else, to teach yourself the things you were deprived of, to unlearn and let go of all the toxic habits, because flaunting anger issues, being emotionally unavailable, and not being able to communicate your feelings seems like nothing more than an excuse. life is unfair to everyone in various ways, a little to some, a lot to others. you cannot spend your whole life whining and complaining about how cruel it was to you; the trauma inflicted upon you cannot be justified, but it is your duty to heal, grow, and feel safe in your mind.

[KJ @kjNYC]

Despite @NYC_DOT’s #SpeedingRuinsLivesSlowDown campaign, the wildly erratic gestures & profanity-laced battle cries of the @nypd traffic cops across Midtown indicate that they want us driving no less than 80 mph through packed intersections in Manhattan, especially at rush hour.

[KJ @kjNYC]

Hi, @amazon! Is the function to send gifts via text or email down on the platform?

[KJ @kjNYC]

Some @SouthwestAir attendants on WN 360 (LGA-ATL) on 5/15/25, were comically unpleasant. The humorously rude responses to everyone made us chuckle to ourselves, but it’s actually sad to watch someone hate their job so much. Thank you for our first (and last) Southwest purchase.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@maseratimain @Mike_Selick @nypmetro Drivers heading into Manhattan can avoid the toll using the upper level; however, both upper and lower level access to the bridge heading into Queens are within the Congestion Relief Zone.

[KJ @kjNYC]

Look. I’m married to a supremely confident and compassionate man. I know how lucky that makes me, yet I deeply care about the people who are oppressed by a toxic patriarchy. And I’m concerned about why the same people, who have been abused, voted for more abuse.

[KJ @kjNYC]

Look. I don’t actually notice that the price of eggs went up last year. I know how privileged that makes me, yet I deeply care about the people who did notice. And I’m concerned about why the same people, who were stressed about the price of eggs, also voted for tariffs.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@amazon The delivery status of dozens of gifted orders in my order history, dating back as far as August, is “On the way, but running late.” And at least one gift is marked as “Your package may be lost.”

The Customer Service portal offers no related solution or live contact.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@Starbucks Can you please add an order setting to the app for “not hot AF”?

[Cory Doctorow NO LONGER ON TWIT TER @doctorow]

The Apprentice is a forthcoming docudrama about Trump's mentorship at the hand of the gangster Roy Cohn; despite the best efforts of Trump's billionaire allies to kill it (https://t.co/k9jEjvrmhB) the movie will open on Oct 11.

In this anonymously sourced, unofficial mashup trailer, footage from the movie is brilliantly combined with clips from the Sept 10 Trump/Harris debate.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@netflix You could have warned me that there was no second season of #AwayOnNetflix before suggesting I binge it.

[KJ @kjNYC]

…but no matter which “available” itinerary I try to confirm—whether Main, Comfort+ or Premium—through either the @Delta app or the website, I ultimately receive a fare/class sold-out notice when I attempt to process the payment.

[KJ @kjNYC]

What if a fart caused a convulsion similar to that of a sneeze?

[KJ @kjNYC]

@jk_rowling That's bexause we'd like for you to eat rocks.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@megynkelly Like, for sure. Totes norms.

Unlike your middle-aged #MeanGirl rants.

[KJ @kjNYC]

@KamalaHarris knows @realDonaldTrump’s type:

https://t.co/NzsMgaZ6wo via @MSNBC

[KJ @kjNYC]

Echoing the calls for @Beyonce and @taylorswift13 to collaborate on a @DNC fundraiser and voter registration concert for @KamalaHarris.

cc: @VP, @KamalaHQ

[KJ @kjNYC]

@cjonescowboys @DCCheerleaders Curious whether you’d have found your passion and purpose as EVP & Chief Executive Officer of the Dallas Cowboys solely thru being “part of something bigger than [yourself],” for less than the mascot’s salary, and sans inheritance.