Katie Zuber

LGBTQ+ advocate, walker, organizer, traveler, NPR listener, HGTV lover, momma, sarcastic friend.

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Daughter spies Simone Biles on display at gas station. Explain she is best gymnast ever! Daughter keeps pointing. Display is for #Oreos. She says, "Just like the ones in your bathroom!" 🤦‍♀️ Don't tell everyone where Momma hides her cookies!#mommassecretstash
#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

3.5-year-old daughter: "My nose just sneezed on me! When I put my fingers into it, it tooted!"

🤦‍♀️

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I never thought I'd have to wonder how to get grass stains out of a negligee.

#playingdressup
#momlife
#katieasamom
#ifyourmomdidntgiveyounegligeesfordressupyoumissedout

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I don't fear the monster under the bed at 5:30AM when my bed-hog toddler comes in & relegates me to 2 inches on one side. You want to bite my arm off at the elbow, monster? Go ahead. I am MAXIMIZING SURFACE AREA. Even if that area is dead air off the side. #momlife #katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

The moment your husband realizes that the eggs he purposefully bought over two weeks ago so that they would age well for boling and subsequent coloring with your three-year-old, are brown eggs. And it is the day before Easter.
#momlife
#katieasamom
#easter
#easterfail

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Just dropped off preschool registration for my daughter at two places: one if she is potty-trained by August, one if she isn't. 🤦‍♀️

#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

My 3-year-old daughter just said, "Let's watch PBS Kids!" I thought she said, "Let's watch Pain in the Ass Kids!"

#momlife
#katieasamom
#mustcheckmyhearing

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I refused to buy skinny jeans for so long. I just bought two pairs in the last month. Now they're out? Gen Z can kiss my butt. And my side part that I've had since 1989.

#notaslavetofashion
#skinnyjeansandsideparts
#genz

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Just removed permanent marker from my daughter's new dress. Feeling like a god.

#momlife
#katieasamom
#justcallmeheloise

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

My daughter, just turned 3, playing with her Anna & Elsa dolls, discussing her own princess shoes: "Stay there. I will be right back. I have a pair of shoes that are perfectly ripe."

#perfectfit
#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

10:36 AM. Just now getting to drink my latte.

#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

My daughter had a bloody nose in my bed this morning, but in the dark neither of us knew. She sat up & started picking at it. "It has crumbs, Momma." "That's probably dried mucus." "Is it from Ritz crackers?"

#nomorecrackersinbed
#mucuscrackers
#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I guess we can just eat the cost of these new & secondhand clothes for your 2T/3T year, since we are stuck at home & all you will wear are ratty princess dresses & two LuLa Roe dresses in the closet. Said no mom EVER.

#momlife
#katieasamom
#pandemiclife

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Sometimes I think everyone has made little COVID-19 bubbles without me.

#sorryformyself
#pullyourselftogetherman

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Sometimes I think about my pre-pandemic purse & all the things in it that were "needed" for extended outings. I wonder if I will need them again when this is over, or if I will just carry a phone, key, & lip balm. I can't really recall "outings" anymore.

#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I wish I was a fan of Dr. Seuss books. Alas, they're a big nope.

#momlife
#katieasamom

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

You know it's been awhile since you've been away from your child when you go to pump, & your pump is dusty INSIDE the case. 🤣

#mamaneededavacay
#breastfeeding
#normalizebreastfeeding
#breastfeedingtonaturalterm

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

I emerge from the house in a sock hat, Muck Boots, & full body Carhartts to play in the snow. My 2 year, 10.5 month daughter takes one look, gasps audibly, & says, "You look BEAUTIFUL!"

#momlife
#katieasamom
#illtakeit

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

@disneyplus has a 3-hour Yule Log. From Arendelle. #yourewelcome

[Katie Zuber @kkzub7]

Husband from the floor playing with a sensory bin: "You can see my butt crack."

Daughter (2 years, 10 months): "Your butt is cracking Dada! You'd better take care of it!"

#momlife
#katieasamom