Katie

if i die, turn my tweets into a book

[Katie @kl_kov]

I fricken love driving thru the PA turnpike tunnels. Someone was really like “I’m DONE going over or around these mountains, let’s blast a hole thru these bitches” and then they actually did it. Unreal

[Alyssa Leader @alittleleader]

This was apparently in my courthouse, so I feel the need to get out ahead of this and clarify that this juror was not me.

[Zach Wolfe @zachwolfelaw]

Law school professors: You always have to prove intent with circumstantial evidence. It’s not like you’re going to get the defendant on tape saying “here’s the secret document, I took it!”

Trump:

[Matt Urquijo @IAmMatthewU]

Idk why but the Mike Pence campaign branding is giving Daisy sour cream.

[New Jersey @NJGov]

We’re in our Taylor (Swift) Ham era.

The king of our heart @govmurphy has declared the Taylor Swift Ham, Egg, and Cheese the official state sandwich.

[Christian @Tarihc78]

McDonald’s Snack Wraps

[Thoughts of Dog @dog_feelings]

the human only brought one little bag. on our walk. so naturally. i had to poop twice. they are in shambles

[rabia O'chaudry @rabiasquared]

Just once in my life I want a true crime podcast to tell me the victim was a cranky fart rather than they lit up every room they entered. I refuse to believe every victim ever was a walking ray of sunshine. If I’m ever that victim, please describe me accurately as a salty B.

[Katie @kl_kov]

@hannahsfolklore Taylor Swift 👵😭

[maya 🪩 @allmychampagne]

Either boys liked you in high school or you got a Taylor swift verified fan presale code there is no crossover

[emma lord @dilemmalord]

sometimes i'm like "what is wrong with millennial women" and then i remember how in the early 2000s special k tried to wipe us all out by telling us to replace breakfast and lunch with a cup of cereal and a splash of skim milk

[. @MarisaKabas]

CRUDITAKING THE L

[taylor garron @taylorgarron]

if god isn’t real then explain the crunchwrap supreme

[maybe: clare @clur19]

Joe Biden’s silence on Midnights (3am Edition) is deafening

[trash jones @jzux]

every season is spooky season when you’re just kind of a nervous person

[maybe: clare @clur19]

I think Pete should be Queen Elizabeth’s last fling

[amanda silberling @asilbwrites]

she's a 10 but she prefers the airplane aisle to the window seat because she's afraid of asking people to get up when she needs to pee