keIs

new mental illness just dropped!

[keIs @klswgg]

Acoustic bathroom trip (without my phone)

[keIs @klswgg]

Told my mom the CBD gummy she just took was a gateway gummy and now she’s freaking out

[keIs @klswgg]

YouTube channel that reviews different Lego sets called “Bricked Up”

[keIs @klswgg]

@bethpankau toasssssttt

[keIs @klswgg]

When I’m alone on a road trip driving, on aux, navigating, providing the snacks, and exclaiming “cows!” when there’s cows, that’s me being a one-man band that’s a performance

[keIs @klswgg]

Use promo code gizzard at checkout

[keIs @klswgg]

If you guys don’t have a kick ass summer I swear to fucking god

[keIs @klswgg]

Been focusing on myself (tweeting my demented thoughts instead of retweeting other people’s)

[keIs @klswgg]

Nice try that’s a Dan Flashes shirt if I’ve ever seen one

[microscopic images. @microscopicture]

most detailed image of a human cell to date

[keIs @klswgg]

@bethpankau quickly

[keIs @klswgg]

You were waiting in line for the ice cream truck to spend money on the powerpuff girls ice cream with the bubble gum eyes, I was behind the truck where there was no line inhaling the exhaust fumes for free

[keIs @klswgg]

@bethpankau Coward I see

[keIs @klswgg]

@griff7n @asapSelvyy Let’s FUCKING GOOOOOO

[keIs @klswgg]

Started flossing regularly so if I’m ignoring your texts it’s because I’ve ascended

[keIs @klswgg]

I don’t drive 60 mph on lower wacker because I’m running late I do it to pretend I’m in The Dark Knight

[keIs @klswgg]

So sick of the “reading makes you smarter” trope. The fuck it does. Do you who can write a book? Anyone. Steve Harvey has 17 books. Dr Phil has 21

[keIs @klswgg]

Men love to tell you about “a great little joint nearby” for 35 minutes straight without inhaling oxygen once

[keIs @klswgg]

@i_aint_ly0n NO ONE WILL FILL THAT CUBE

[keIs @klswgg]

Whenever I accidentally bite the inside of my cheek while chewing I’m like ok cannibal now that you’ve gotten a taste for human flesh it’s only a matter of time, all we can do now is wait