Kneisha

Confused is always an understatement in my company

[Kneisha @kneish_]

Him : “is that a boy or girl?”
Me : “it’s a girl”
Him: “well I don’t know. she looks like a skater.”
Me : “well what’s that supposed to mean?” *also wearing ripped jeans, checkered vans, and an oversized hoodie* 🙄

[Kneisha @kneish_]

My coworker just asked if I had my nails done before asking me if I could help her open a container. it’s probably one of the most considerate things I’ve ever heard to this date 😂💅🏼

[sk @xyloboned]

whenever I see a car with non BC plates in the Aberdeen parking lot it's just like I am so sorry you came here to experience this

[Kneisha @kneish_]

First time in 23 years of my life that I’ve been asked if I need a fork and spoon at a Chinese restaurant.
#therapturescoming

[Kneisha @kneish_]

How does my boyfriend forget that he left his grown ass friend in the car for half an hour 😂
#nothavingkids

[Kneisha @kneish_]

12am cat fight outside the liquor store across the road? Sure, why not 👏🏼
#keepitclassyvancouver
#friyay

[Kneisha @kneish_]

Most days me and my boyfriend get along. Other days I feel like trading him for nail money 💅🏼

[Kneisha @kneish_]

A coworker gave me a heart attack today by picking me up and dangling me over his shoulder. I am a descendant of Buddha and don’t have the money to pay for goddamn hospital fees/any medical insurance of the matter. If I start hearing complaints I’m going on a Hiatus☠️😂

[Kneisha @kneish_]

When your coworker asks you how your days off were and you flat out tell her that you binged watched Rupaul’s Drag Race and MCR videos 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Kneisha @kneish_]

*scrolls down Instagram feed
“Oh look John Lennon!”
*“....you mean John legend?”
#unculturedswine 😂😂😩

[Kneisha @kneish_]

So I borrow my managers scraper and he tells me to put it back “on the ground of the passengers side.” As I finish he watches me literally put it on the passengers side step instead of chucking It on the pavement🤦🏻‍♀️ #iquit #SnowWithAChanceOfDumbBlonde #howamistillalive

[Kneisha @kneish_]

When you’re playing follow the leader in your cars and your own boyfriend almost cuts you off 🙄🖕🏼

[Kneisha @kneish_]

*carries broom and dustpan into shop*
“Have you been riding your broomstick again ?” 😡😂

[Kneisha @kneish_]

Listening to my mom say "WANK the wheel" instead of "crank" must be my punishment for procrastinating on getting my N for the past 5 years 😂

[Kneisha @kneish_]

Spent my 10 dollar tax return at Starbucks today 🙃

[Kneisha @kneish_]

So i caught a glimpse of a customer pissing in a garbage can at work today ... 😷

[Kneisha @kneish_]

BFs mom just made me FaceTime his tita in the Philippines. She greets me by saying it's time to start having kids. Hah....No🙅
#stillababy

[Kneisha @kneish_]

A coworker just came towards me with a damp piece of lettuce chanting "the power of Christ compels you." my rbf isn't even that bad today😂

[Kneisha @kneish_]

"why does black china town look like Nikki Minaj!?"😂😂😂

[Kneisha @kneish_]

A coworker brought bangus for lunch and I had to pretend like I couldn't smell it b/c everyone else was complaining about it 😶 #igotchu