Ocelot

Father and Daddy to two of the most amazing children in the world. Standing up for the little guy. BE HEARD!

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: Can we go out to eat?

Me: Let's ask your mom.

4: Why do you always check with her?

Me: I want to live.

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Is it still considered "Kidnapping" if I have to beg the person to take me?

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

My 4-year-old just called socks "foot sweaters," and now I have to spend the rest of the day updating the English language.

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Did you miss me?

....I missed you.

*talking to my coffee maker

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Life is too short to be hateful, wear uncomfortable clothing or drink bad coffee.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

4-year-old: Can I use your office chair?

Me: I'm using it.

4: You're not spinning.

Me: I don't want to spin.

4: You're using it wrong.

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Coffee is my Hero.

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Shhhhhh...

I'm waiting for my coffee to kick in.

[HRCforever @ziggyz2020]

@crehage @realDonaldTrump How could you forget: Guantanamera, guajira guantanamera
Guantanamera, guajira guantanamera
Yo soy un hombre

[jordan @JordanUhl]

Trump's Gitmo tweet is a boldfaced LIE.

111 prisoners released under GEORGE BUSH returned to the battlefield

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

@green_caffeine @88ejr88 @tonyposnanski @realDonaldTrump @POTUS brought to you by his pal vladi and the KGB

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

MOONWALKING POR RESORTES 25 AÑOS ANTES QUE MICHAEL JACKSON https://t.co/i4pci0muy4

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

#bringback#theradarlockxl @oakley

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

Do us all a favor @oakley and bring back the Radarlock XL frame back!!!

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

Come on @oakley !! BRING BACK THE RADARLOCK XL!!

[Ocelot @knuckleupind13]

@oakley bring back the radarlock XL!! They will sell a LOT better than what you currently have! #bringbackradarlockxl#radarlockxl

[Kristin @krisssilinnn]

Need an outfit for your deportation? Ivanka's Bad Hombre line fits Mexicans perfectly!

Muslim? Our 'Ban' brand guarantees extreme Vetting!

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

Who wants to join me for discounted Valentine chocolate & coffee this morning?

[Julz&©️offee @lovejulieacafe]

My imaginary boyfriend must be planning a romantic evening for us.

I mean, I haven't heard from him today... he's so secretive.

[James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn]

[watching "cash me outside" girl]

Wife: I hate people who say stupid stuff for attention

Me: You realize what I do on the Internet, right?