Master

[Arap Chelel @KiongoziGk]

Huko kwa mzazi sufuria ya chai haifai ata siku moja kupika mboga.. unaeza pelekwa ICC for such a crime

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

When I was Sailing on the premium version if poverty in kasarani,I found myself using a phone called RedMi. Ile simu imenitesa sana akiamungu. Ni simu imetengenezwa kuhakikisha hutai toka kwa umaskini, sababu ile simu ukiwa kati kati ya deal namna hii,simu ilikua inajizima yenyewe. Ukiwasha inakaa dakika mbili,inahang. Saa ingine ukipigiwa inastuka inahang,ata huoni nani anakupigia. Inalianga tu mtu wa deni akikupigia. Simu unaweka kwa mfuko namna hii,ukichomoa unapata iliingia pornhub na ikaona 5 videos. Bundles yote imeenda sayun. Mimi niliapa heri nitumie infinix ikichemuka nivae gloves,lakini siwezi nunua Redmi tena. Simu ghasia kabisa ile,simu iko na mpaka advertisement kwa settings bwana. Aiii! Ata kama!

[Dr. Brian Hoeflinger, MD @drhoeflinger]

I’m a retired brain surgeon and I wanna tell you why you feel like life is passing by. I just need one minute to explain this to you so hang in there.

Repetitive daily routines stop the brain from recording clear detailed memories. When every day looks the same, your brain does not track time the same as a clock does. It tracks change. If nothing new happens then days, months, and years start to blur together.

This is know as Time compression. When life lacks variety, your brain compresses past days together, making it feel like time is sped up.

To stop feeling like life is passing you by, add new experiences to your life. Break routine habits, like changing your daily home routine, taking a different route to work, or trying a new hobby.

Schedule small trips or plan new adventures so your days do not blend together.

Practice mindfulness by staying fully focused on what you are doing right now and not trying to race off to the next task.

Keep a journal and write down happy memories or memorable parts of the day before you go to sleep.

Take deep, calm breaths when you feel anxious or rushed to return your focus to the moment.

You can and you will retrain your brain to not feel like life is passing you by by following these few simple measures.

[truly.sther🌟 @trulysther]

I have different names, any name you call me I know where you know me from 😹😹😹

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

My friend and I were brainstorming today and we came up with this business idea of opening a company that deals with alternative means of solving disputes. So we’ll have goons,but they work from home. They basically harass the person you pay us to harass, remotely. With many sim cards. They just call him nonstop and send him messages of threatening sodomy,and harsh comments on his business pages,until the person gives up and pays you your money back. This category we’ll charge a basic price

The Premium category includes on site work. Our goons now play mind games with the person you paid us to Target. On her way home she get slapped by a guy on an overspeeding nduthi and the only thing he says is “Lipa deni” or “wachana na bwana ya Maggie” and it drives off. Next day our goon masquarading as a chokoraa in town applies fecal ingredients on the targets chest and reminds her to leave your husband alone

DM me if you think you can invest in this Mafi a business. Hii itaenda far

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Na vijana sasa kitu ingine, ni muhimu kabla ufike 30 years ukue umefanya hii tunaita trial and error. Isikue ati wewe unafika 30 years na umefanya tu kazi moja,bwana that is a very dangerous way to live. Put yourself out there,especially after university,you will be shocked to find your niche in a space totally different from what you studied. Mnajua kama mimi sahii,mimi nilisoma kitu inaitwa Animal Husbandry. Course ya ughasia sana,sababu nasomea kuchunga wanyama,na kwetu babu yangu aliwacha acre mbili igawiwe watoto yake tisa. Hapo utalisha ng’ombe ngapi?

Nikaweka iyo makaratasi chini,nikaingia soko mjinga pale kinale nikakua broker wa spinach. Nikatoka hapo tukaingia narok,pale Ntulele tumechoma makaa mingi sana,kabla niingie narok niliingia Homa bay,pale mbita tumevua samaki mingi sana na neti ya mosquito. Wavuvi wakirudi asubuhi sisi tunahire boat,tunarudi ndani. Baada ya hapo narok,nikaingia pale Longonot,kama Tour guide. Zebra tumekimbisa mara mingi sana ndio mzione mkiwa kwa land rover.

Kabla nifike sasa niko kampuni Keensight security tunawauzia CCTV,tumejaribu sana hii kenya. Sasa imagine ningefuata diploma yangu ya husbandry, sahii ndio ningekua nakamua ngamia za waria kule Isiolo bwana. Trial and error! Khabusie!

[MethoDman @polo_kimanii]

Good! Now listen, At some point in life you will face defeat. Its almost guaranteed for every man,You will lose friendships,question your purpose,feel detached from your partner(s), envy death,try working with little outcome showing,try to forsee your future and you’ll barely see anything that doesn’t entail suffering. You’ll feel the defeat. Now at this point,this is where most men fail. They fall to alcoholism,others suicide,others make very terrible decisions because they’re easy,like a neighbor of mine joining Al shabaab

But this particular point is what I call the Rubicon. When Julius ceasar finished his campaign,he wanted to come back and rule Rome. And the roman senators warned him,that if he crossed this Rubicon river,there would be no coming back from it,it was treason. He made a tough decision to cross it anyway and conqured Rome. So when you as a man overcome this stage,the Rubicon stage,your life changes.

There are things you will expirience,people you will meet,that you never thought you would. You will regret having contemplated suicide. Na hii sio jaba, True story!

[Saint✝️ @ClaudeBrilliant]

My neighbour ameniamsha leo mapema because someone prompted her 2k na akalipa na juu anajua I'm a Computer Science Graduate | First-Class Honors, she wants me to use my laptop to track that culprit.

[M.J😎 @ChaoticChicW3]

'Wawili ijae' is at close proximity with 'kidogo nakupigia' which is also related to 'kata nikutumie'
Very terrible lies

[Master @KoechJay3]

@osoroKE Karatina to Nairobi is 120KM na fare ni 350 ,ni express btw

[Rymmes🕷️ @_Rymmes]

Leo niliamka 5am kuprepare interview ya 8am apo cbd. Nikapiga luku yenye niliomba neighbor shirt oversized kama tent, trouser wide kama sail, koti nayo nikitembea inaguza tu shapshuta. Nikafika stage 6am line ya Super Metro ndefu kama Thika Road yenyewe. Watu wamejipanga from 4am. Mat ilifika tukaanza kujiseti. Jam ya Thika Road ikageuka stress ingine. Saa mbili bado tuko Ruiru. Nikafika CBD 8:47 na interview ilikuwa 8am. Nikaingia boardroom nikituck in shirt ya tent.

Interviewer akaniuliza “tell us about yourself”. Nikasema I'm a survivor from Juja city. Bado nasubiri call yao manze. Chances slim kama belt yangu.😂💀

[sidthesloth @Wathimaa]

I think this is the best time to be a KE music fan. I'm loving everything!!!!!

[Rexy @rexy_xye]

Mwanaume kupata C+ as a mean grade huko kcse inasound so gayish😂heri hata upate D

[Master @KoechJay3]

@freakin_039 @KoechJay3

[Master @KoechJay3]

@City_girllll "Nani alinidanganya eti mapenzi huwa simple...."

[stewie garlic @stewiegarlic]

"Suicide is selfish" sorry do you want me to kill you too