@NefflynBe My mom’s grandma was there when I was born and practically had me for two weeks lol. She passed about 18 months after I was born.
I had my dad’s grandma until I was 15
Certain things really just shoot my nervous system to hell. That’s what developed this anxious / avoidant reactionary style. Cuz I was having a decent time until just a few minutes ago!
My grandfather has been dying for days and this is not the experience I wanted for him, or frankly for us. Everyday trying to keep him comfortable and stay sane for everybody else because I’m the one administering the meds. And of course he’s not getting better.
But also like… we’re begging him to let go. And he won’t. But he’s suffering. And I don’t want that. I just want to find the path forward. We can’t even start to heal in this limbo. It’s even more stress than when it inevitably happens.