your favourite fanfic was written by a 30 year old. your favourite fanart was drawn by a 30 year old. they have been in fandom spaces for 10/15 years or more & they are the ones with the skills that help keeping many fandoms alive & thriving
depression -> anhedonia -> loss of practice -> slow pruning of cognitive patterns for specific skills (among the myriad other sources of general neurotoxicity and memory impairment that come with depression)
i feel my entire personality is fake like as a kid i was never Cool or popular & i’d be so envious of the girls who were so pretty & had so many friends & so i started copying their mannerisms & traits in an effort to be more likable & i feel like even now i mimic ppl around me