koyie 🐠

depressed barista, he/they, gay or sumn like that trying to make it through life

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Woke up stressin bc in my dream my car got stolen, but it was an older car that I’ve never owned and I was also living in the house I moved out of in 2017

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

@cass_blew Okay but like he gotta have a mic in the car atp

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Not this woman mean muggin tf outta me bc I said bless you after she sneezed

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Why does “lost” gotta be playing at work rn :/

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

I always forget how much I love Takis until I open a bag

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Aggressive Dog it is 🙂‍↕️IYKYK

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

“The better the FUPA the better the CHALUPA”

Heard at a “celebration of life”

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

A friend of mine told me that a coffee I made her may or may not have led to and ER trip🙃

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Ahh we meet again old friend😌😌

(The urge to eat nothing but grilled cheese and fried egg sandwiches)

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

“Lowkey feels weird to not have your phone up my ass”

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

“Gimmie the biggest fucking pink drink you have.”
Ma’am it isn’t even 8 fucking 30 please watch the attitude ☺️☺️

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

@Gaverinno Good point

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

It’s sad that we really all did get lost in the heat of it all

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Show me another mf that’ll use the word “piddle-fart” in an interview and get the job done

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Just saw my first yard sale of the year!!

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

Thinking about how my great aunt greened out on her front porch

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

@Gaverinno 🤣🤣🤣 seeing this made me wonder where mine is this morning 🤨

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

A year ago today I accidentally shot a man in the face with a confetti cannon

[koyie 🐠 @koyienunder]

One of my goals for 2024 is to get the plug to invite me over to one of her BBQ’s