krallmemaybe

just a regular guy with exceptional hair

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@StoolAfterDark @BarstoolBigCat @OhioTate @TippMensSoccer

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

Save Powell’s City Green - Sign the Petition! https://t.co/gUrYluka3p via @Change

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@REFLOG18 Stone Cold Steve Austin walk out music. Glass shattering puts fear into the heart of the pitcher

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@MostlyHoopsShow @clubtrillion Who would we say is in charge of the players executing the plays? Bruce Thornton is 22 years old, he isn’t a fresman. A competent coach draws up a play with more than one option

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@Brady_Quinn Don’t mess with Lagree time. Buy the socks and step back

[Future Moldovan Citizen Fan @CommonSentiment]

Took my (frigid) wife to see Wuthering Heights tonight. Car ride to the theater she put on the Hamilton soundtrack and scrolled through Pinterest the entire time ignoring me. I think I chipped a tooth from clenching my teeth.
Walk into the theater lobby and it’s a sea of screaming black teenagers and obese guatemalan women babbling into speakerphone. I buy her some garbage to eat and we go into the theater. Before we sit down she accidentally (?) spills her extra large diet Dr. Pepper on my seat, but the theater is full so I just sit in it. My ass is immediately soaked but I don’t care I just don’t want to move my body anymore I just don’t want my body to function.
The guatemalan women are in the theater and they and my wife are all staring at their phones, giving the room a sickly, ambient glow that makes my eyes water and my stomach turn.
The movie starts and I mentally check out, thinking of the chubby teenage girl at the concession counter and how thrilling it would be to kidnap her. I let my mind drift away but my wife snaps me out of this fantasy by hacking loudly trying to get a stuck popcorn kernel out of her throat. The guatemalan women sense distress and start nervously gibbering in their gutterspeak. I excuse myself to the bathroom but instead sneak into some kind of cartoon called Goat.
I sit in the back and sob softly until a black teenager notices me and screams “ayo dis gay nigga crine!” and the rest of them start jeering and screaming at me so I rush out. I lock eyes with the chubby teenage girl in the lobby and she looks sad and I imagine she’d be okay with me kidnapping her but I just go back and sit next to my wife in the giant puddle of diet Dr. Pepper.
The movie finishes. We leave. Wife immediately puts Hamilton soundtrack back on and scrolls Pinterest. We won’t be discussing the film.
No, we won’t be discussing anything.
Am I Heathcliff?
Am I myself?
Am I a person?
Am I sure I can keep doing this for one second longer?
Tomorrow is Friday, but in reality, everyday is Monday.

[bingle @poopswag34]

Being a dad is probably fun because you’re just smarter funnier and stronger than the people you spend 90% of your time interacting with (wife and children) and they respect and fear you (because of your drinking)

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@MrJerryOC @BarstoolBigCat @AdamSchefter @PFTCommenter @PardonMyTake It’s time

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@franciscellis Old Mac hat 🔥

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@drinkgaragebeer Check any showings of “The Legend of Bagger Vance”

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@JBook_37 I’ve got 4 face value tickets for any Buckeye fans that want to go

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@nocontextcfb @This_Is_Tipp

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@drinkgaragebeer Definitely, just for the passengers to drink though. Don’t need the Garage Beer flying planes, that seems dangerous. Would like to drink it on a plane!

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@RedditCFB You sure it’s not Noon PST?

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@Friday_Beers Under cooked

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@AdamSchefter Considerably more than 0%

[The Buckeye Nut @TheBuckeyeNut]

👀 Moving people!

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@TippMensSoccer

[Chris Vernon @ChrisVernonShow]

LETS GOOOOOO @TommyFleetwood1!!!

[krallmemaybe @kralljohn]

@BarstoolBigCat No way he blows this! Congrats on the win