Kranti Pally

Screenwriter. Political junkie. Raconteur. Cocktail enthusiast. Professional defenestrator. Husband of a kickass wife. Father of two unruly children.

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

Dear Joe,
I wish I could sit down with you face to face and explain why so many of us were offended by the UFC fight on the South Lawn of the White House.
For me, it had nothing to do with the UFC or who showed up for the fights. The brand you and Dana have built is a bona fide American success story. More power to you. As for the fighters, in my book, anyone brave enough to put it all on the line in the arena is remarkable to witness. Their dedication and discipline inspire me. I don’t understand anyone who can’t admire that.
And as for the people who attended, I, for one, love Shane Gillis. I think he’s hilarious and brilliant. It was a show. A once-in-a-lifetime spectacle. I can’t blame anyone for wanting to witness it firsthand.
My problem is that I believe some of our public spaces are sacred. And unlike many of the great powers that came before us, these American monuments belong to all of us. Not to whoever happens to hold power at the moment.
The White House does not belong to Donald Trump. It does not belong to any President. It belongs to the people. To treat it as Caesar treated the Colosseum is antithetical to everything our founding fathers fought for.
This is not Rome. Presidents are not emperors doling out bread and circuses for the peasants. The White House is the People’s House. This “celebration” could have happened in any stadium within a stone’s throw of the South Lawn. No one would have had an issue with it.
But that was obviously Donald Trump’s whole point. By holding the event on the South Lawn, what he was saying to the rest of us is:
“This is my house. I own it. I will do with it what I please. I’ll build a colosseum and have the gladiators fight under my gaze. I’ll tear down the East Wing. I’ll pave over the Rose Garden. I’ll cover everything in gold and marble. I’ll erase the names of all the men who came before me.”
The fights were an exhibition of imperial domination, not a celebration of our 250th anniversary as a democracy.
The White House is not Buckingham Palace. It is not the Palace of Versailles. It is not the Forbidden City of Beijing. It does not belong to an emperor, or a king, or a commissar.
The White House belongs to us. All of us. The person who sits behind the Resolute Desk in the Oval Office is nothing more than an honored guest. A temporary caretaker.
The President is our servant. Not our Caesar.
Respectfully, Hunter

P.S. Cage match between me and Don Jr.? Your call on the venue. Anywhere but the South Lawn.

[Kranti Pally @krantipally]

@SpencerHakimian Coincidentally, this is what he told all his rape victims.

[Democrats @TheDemocrats]

NEW AD: Trump said the quiet part out loud—he loves inflation.

Every American should see this.

[Kranti Pally @krantipally]

@CinemaTweets1 The Fincher Effect.

Sorkin is a great writer. But Fincher is a great director.

[Sam Stoffel @sam_stoffel]

I come back to this speech every once in a while:

“in the 1,526 singles matches I played in my career, I won almost 80% of those matches

… what percentage of points do you think I won in those matches?

only 54%.”

[Subi-doo 🐸 @suzamaroo]

On today’s episode of MAGA are the dumbest (with a b) people on the plant: We have a MAGA influencer committing a crime and then making a video about it.

[TheFrenchie @ML3democrats]

Remember when they said Zelensky desecrated the sanctity of the White House by not wearing a suit

[Ford News @FordJohnathan5]

BREAKINGNEWS: 3.8% inflation, high foreclosures, small business bankruptcies, gas prices through the roof, 1.2 million layoffs in 2025, real wages down, and war in middle-east, and this idiot is proud of a fucking chart. Unbelievable. 🚨

[MASTR @MastrXYZ]

Turns out Hunter Biden is actually pretty good at dealing with MAGA idiots.

He answers calmly and with facts.

Something the Fox News damaged crowd clearly is not used to.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Donald Trump had over 3,700 stock transactions since the war in Iran started, and he profited over 220 million dollars. Don't tell me how he "donates his presidential salary" ever again you stupid fucking MAGAs

[Steve Hartman @SteveHartmanCBS]

I see some of you are discovering our talented friend, Samuel, for the first time :)

[Kranti Pally @krantipally]

@OsheaJacksonJr 20/10. No notes.

[Covie @covie_93]

That man brags about ending 10 fake wars but he's out here struggling to end an actual war he started!

[么 ꜱ ᴀ ᴍ ꪜ, @___TheGOOdWitch]

This is amazing to watch

[Just Jack @7Veritas4]

A bazillion people have weighed in on this tweet.

Not one person is arguing Stephen Miller isn’t an ugly fuck.

[Liam Nissan™ @theliamnissan]

Yup

[Mina Kimes @minakimes]

Absolutely incredible to witness this in person. The crowd was stunned (as was I, clearly 😭)

[Paulina Mangubat 🫏 @paulinaVEVO]

Haters mad

[Adam Mockler @adammocklerr]

You just created a million Paulina Mangubats.

[Jonathan 'Boo and Vote' Cohn @JonathanCohn]

He raped her, she won in court, and his response is to terrorize her. Because he is a rapist.