Kristen Florio

I swear it was like this when I got here.
•Actor•Musician•Writer•Comedian•Teacher•

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Southern drawls are cute until you really need to know something.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@Lemwk13 @tampaflrobert @ProfWagnon @BeckleyforTX For generations, that was one of the few "acceptable" professions for women. Pidgeonholing half of the population into three or so career choices doesn't work well for anybody. I'd imagine a lot of teachers in years past didn't actually like the job - they needed money to survive

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@jesus_jimz @GovAbbott So basically, you shit talk the vaccine, tell people to not wear masks, will not be informing parents about outbreaks at the children's schools, and are asking for healthcare workers to endanger themselves to cover for your foolishness and pride? Did I get that right?

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@Ydoidodees @Annaruthia @TyraHigh @DapperDomo They're not atypical. Almost every woman on this planet has been sexually harassed and/or assaulted by a man. You just aren't paying attention because it doesn't affect you.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@DapperDomo Gee, I wonder who was conducting the statistics gathering. Considering it was totally acceptable to beat your wife and financially abuse her then, I'm not sure how reliable these "statistics" of women's happiness are.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@DapperDomo Good men like you make them uncomfortable because it highlights what trash they are. They don't like being reminded why women aren't interested in them because they have no desire to be better. Thank you for representing the best of men.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

It should be illegal for car manufacturers to install leather seats without a seat cooler.
Sincerely,
The backs of every woman's thighs

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

EVERY PERSON W/ KIDS: You really should have kids. You have no idea what you're missing.
ME: That's so weird. I was just about to tell you that you really should put your kids up for adoption because you have no idea what you're missing.

Mind your own reproductive organs.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@WaterrBoyy @DaleWayneFurman @mishellymissyW @gregkellyusa Because it's giving people false information and feeding unwarranted fear. Don't conflate this nation's opioid epidemic with something that science and history says is essentially harmless. It's irresponsible.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@gregkellyusa This is patently absurd. Even Nixon's own administration admitted that marijuana was essentially harmless and they pushed for harsher laws to punish voters that would most likely vote against them. So basically, you're in line with Nixon. Good job on spreading BS.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Why has no one invented a period vacuum yet? Just suck that shit right out and go about your day.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

I don't remember learning about Hitler's speech on the Motherland's sopping wet vagina, but this guy sure sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

[CONSEQUENCE @consequence]

John Cooper of Christian rock band Skillet strongly condemned Cardi B's Grammys performance and likened the ceremony to Hitler's propaganda: "If you go back and you read some of Hitler's speeches ... that's what's happening right now on the Grammys". https://t.co/2VEzXQe2Un

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Please. If you all were so concerned about education inequality in the US, school budgets would've never been based on property taxes to begin with. Totally cool with that till you got stuck at home with your kids for a year.

Just say you want Braden and McKayla out of the house

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@ubifranklin1 Are men really this delicate? How embarrassing for you. You have the internet - https://t.co/auoz9NlMd5 is what you're looking for, not someone else's hard work and livelihood that you have no claim to. You should be embarrassed for even positing this - it makes you look pathetic

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Why is it that the people I hear bitching about "cancel culture" the most are the ones who would have no problem canceling their own kid for being gay or dating outside their race?

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@Aaron0VT 😆😆

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Some straight men won't use straws because they think it's phallic, but love watching Joey Chestnut house 50 hotdogs in three minutes. Make it make sense.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

For a generation who kept telling us, "Don't have kids if you can't afford them," Boomers sure seem to take issue with the declining birthrate.

Just not enough of an issue to do anything about it.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

First Mr. Potato Head, then Dr. Seuss, now Lola Rabbit's body shape. All I have to say on this matter is that both versions of Lola's breasts are sending the wrong message to children - rabbits have 8-10 teets. So unrealistic.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

@saturdaycontest 🧻
https://t.co/Z2exvGj5mR

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Using single-ply toilet paper in your home is a relationship deal breaker for me. As it should be for any decent person. Show your butthole some respect.

[Kristen Florio @Kris_Florio]

Using single-ply toilet paper in your home is a relationship deal breaker for me. As it should be for any decent person. Show your butthole some respect.