kristian bailey

hi im kris i put the stab in emotionally unstable

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

me

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

ive come to the realisation that im literally never going to have a relationship

[ssǝɾ @jessnelson8]

If you step on the back of my shoe and it comes of I will do the same to your head

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

dont u hate how money goes away when u spend it

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

a giraffe's coffee would be cold by the time it reached the bottom of its throat. ever think about that? no. you only think about yourself.

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

can i nominate u for the boiling water challenge

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

''remember, it could be worse, you could be them.''

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

how to wear leggings when you're fat:
step 1: don't

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

balloons are so weird it's like "happy birthday here's a plastic sack of my breath"

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

just saw a birth mark on my arm that i hadn’t seen before and i got worried for a second but then i licked it and it was just chocolate

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

do u ever write a message but halfway through u think 'u know what fuck it they don't even care' and delete it

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

if i got £1 for every person that calls me beautiful i'd have £1 thanks mum

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

when someone hot walks past you in the street and ignores you

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

i farted on the bus and 4 people turned around, felt like i was on the voice

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

cheers to the guy that shouted "sick hair" out of his car window

[tyler oakley @tyleroakley]

Promoting a false stereotype that HIV only affects gays to his millions of teen fans is extremely dangerous. https://t.co/W6X9MUrgUK

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

**accidentally showers for 5 hours**

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

the fault in my sleeping pattern

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

i’m adopting kids so they can’t blame me when they’re ugly

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

if you step on the back of my shoe and it comes off I will do the same thing to ur head

[kristian bailey @krisandchips]

feelin good about yourself but suddenly you look at someone and then you look at yourself again and boom