Kristen Vogler

Let's be real, I'm gonna tweet like twice a year. But they might be funny so stay tuned.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Currently replacing photos with crayon drawings. Taking bets on how many photos I can replace before my parents notice.
#QuarantineActivities

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Things I’ve been mocked for saying to my new niece while holding her:

-you’re crying, what’s the problem dude?

-do you want to go look at someone else’s face for awhile?

-your life is pretty chill, why are you crying?

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Not sure when it happened but I’ve suddenly become the person who casually says things like “circle back”, “what’s your bandwidth”, and “EOD”. I don’t know how to feel about it.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@JessVoglah But why didn’t this happen

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Does anyone actually click on the zoom tool in Adobe products?

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Mortgage lender: So as you can see Miss Vogler, your loan has been moved to another servicer and this is how we will handle it moving forward

Me, wrapped in my childhood Simba blanket, having not showered today: Ok, cool.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@Soxonsoxonmags Writing this down for the future

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Mom, December 2021: what do you want for a Christmas?

Me, after buying a house: Pick a bill

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

My brain at 4am: wake up! You don’t yet have the ability to transfer between these two accounts

Me: ok I’ll do that later when I’m done sleeping

My brain: nah, you’re done, now is good.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Me: I’m trying to buy a house
Other people: oh that’s exciting, how is it going?
Me: 😀😭🤮

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Went to a home viewing. Brought my Dad for his insight. Real estate agent thought he was my husband.
So that’s how my day started.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Eating goldfish for breakfast because that’s how the morning is going.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@JessVoglah So like did you go by yourself... you kinda left this story on a cliff hanger

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Another positive to wearing a mask, I can eat snacks without people knowing.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@JassVoglah Yo, legit almost cried reading a dedication on a park bench #thriving

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@JassVoglah @verykerri Fully support this

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

How my morning meetings have started this week:
Me: hey everyone, sorry for the noise, my dog won’t stop snoring

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@KayVoglah @JassVoglah Taking me back to camp days when everyone called us the Olsen twins. 😂

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@JassVoglah Whoever came up with that smart food idea is insane.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Had to rage quit my paint by number. I painted all the 9’s with color #6 because I read it upside down. Why Kristen, why.

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

@greeneyesone They did! After 11 days 😂

[Kristen Vogler @krisvog]

Currently replacing photos with crayon drawings. Taking bets on how many photos I can replace before my parents notice.
#QuarantineActivities