Kathleen McCarthy

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

Half of all dogs can float in water because they're good buoys.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I invented a cold air balloon a few years back, but it never really took off.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

My friend stole a calendar. He got twelve months.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I'm filing a lawsuit against my local leg-waxing place. It was a ripoff.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I say, the sky's the limit! Maybe that's why NASA fired me.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

If you ever get in a sword fight, go for the ankles. You'll de-feet your opponent for sure.

[The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl @unbeatablesg]

on it

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

If you're lost in a swamp, you should look for a navigator.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I've started an insect delivery service. I'm calling it Grub Hub.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I found a 2,000-year-old oil stain! It's from ancient Greece.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

If you paint a buffalo pink, purple, and blue, you get a bison.

[alice @cthula_hoops]

@ksmccarthy24 You take my breath away.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I caught my cat chewing on an electrical cord. I had to ground him, but currently he's doing better.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

Some organs come in pairs because they belung together.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

What do you call a place that makes okay products? A satisfactory.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I wish I could make money flipping houses, but my arms just aren't strong enough.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

@anathemagermina Oh, come on, I only post them periodically.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

I was going to tell you all a joke about copper, but I Cu aren't interested.

[Kathleen McCarthy @ksmccarthy24]

@UrsulaV You just solved a HUGE mystery for me, thank you! I had Marie Curie and Confucius and could not for the life of me remember the series.