Katie Roller

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1990) still holds up 32 years later #TurtleTime

[Chloe Condon @ChloeCondon]

Remember when big milk made us all think our bones would deteriorate if we didn't drink milk? 🐄🥛 Between that and being forced to do the Macarena in PE every week, being a youth in the 90s was WILD.

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

These days my 2004 Honda Accord with 260k miles gets to live in a garage and is primarily driven to work (which has a garage). When I go into work I make sure that I park at the top of the work garage with no covering. Keeps the Honda humble

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@UberFacts Texas Chainsaw Massacre (at least the original one) - they’re just walking into his house and looking through his stuff without permission

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

Does anyone else remember the #BroomChallenge where everyone was taking pictures of brooms? Wild times

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@hannah_n_greene Looks like I know what I’m getting you for Christmas!

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

While watching a terrible reality show a pregnant teenager said “Oh I’m so happy that you got me a book because I want to read to the baby because I’m weird like that”…. Since when did reading become weird?

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

If anyone is out there reading this, can you explain to me how I have 3 mosquito bites from New Years Eve? 🙄

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@StevanaPalombo Based on pictures from Barb you shouldn’t have to work today

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

Dear Student Loan companies, all I want for Christmas is for you to stop contacting me because let me assure you that I am VERY aware that repayment starts in February 🤮 @DebtCrisisOrg

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@kirsimccrea @hannahbenj Haha! Kirsi got jokes! Right?… Jokes. Because that statement must be a joke.

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

When you do a before and after picture collage please put the before first and the after second. I understand that you want to show off the after picture but order matters. You really just makes me feel like you did a bad job on your project

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@DarrellLuv Seeing as dressing has been named I will go with deviled eggs fo sho and green bean casserole (crunchy fried onions for the win)

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

@mametown forget @spencerpratt I think this might be the way to bring all the hummies to your yard https://t.co/qJgwMaNp1y

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

Everyone’s talking about murder podcasts and I’m just over here listening to my conspiracy podcasts realizing that you’re all unaware that you’re in a murder podcast cult #ConspiracyTheory #MurderPodcast #SpiderMan (I just like that the hashtag has Spider Man in it)

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

Phone numbers that I refuse to delete: McMinnville’s movie theater IYKYK

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

If you said name a restaurant that embodies America most people would answer McDonald’s.
But really the correct answer is The Cheesecake Factory - too many choices and too big of portions. If that ain’t America then I don’t know what is

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

As a Vols fan, this is just embarrassing

[Katie Roller @ksroller]

I could really use a McDonald’s coke