My co-worker described the burning of cutting onions as such: “it’s like the devil himself gouged out my eyes, dipped his dick in hot sauce, and fucked me in the eye. Jesus fucking Christ, this is torture.”
Dude had me in the floor dying of laughter.
If ya gonna have a threeway with 2 girls/1 guy, expect it the other way around, too. “But I’m definitely straight.” So am I, buddy, but imma do it still. Plus, once you have dick, you may change your mind. 😉
Guy: aorry, I don’t want a relationship.
Also guy: can I get some advice? I’ve been seeing this gurl and I really like her and want a relationship with her....
Me: [fuck you] sure, here’s my advice.
🙄🙄🙄
I think I’ve finally gotten over those who hurt me. My head may not be in the best place, but my heart has moved on and honestly....it feels so good to be free. 🕊
Update: he tried to cash a $1000 check in the ATM and it got stuck. Now, I don’t know about everyone else, but I would never trust an ATM to cash any check. Sorry, but sucks for you for not being a little patient with humans.