ktchev

Mean mugs and shoulder shrugs

[ktchev @ktchev]

Just stared at two timers on my phone counting down simultaneously but not in sync and I thought maybe Adam Scott would walk in the room.

[ktchev @ktchev]

McDonald’s needs to have a mobile app code window. Ezpass lane. TSA precheck lane. Scan my face know my order let’s go

[ktchev @ktchev]

Person who asks the McDonald’s employee what their favorite menu item is and then talks about it for 5 min is in front of me rn. It’s gotta be her first time here.

[ktchev @ktchev]

@VerizonNews @Verizon Updates???

[ktchev @ktchev]

4yo: look mom this chip looks like a “c”
Me: yea it does. What word starts with “c” /k/ /k/
4yo: cock!

Me: well yea….true…

[ktchev @ktchev]

@getgo how can a garbage can be out of service?

[ktchev @ktchev]

Cheating strategy: only call guys “daddy” in bed so you never use the wrong name in the heat of passion.

[ktchev @ktchev]

The one thing I don’t like about him is two things….

[ktchev @ktchev]

The next Brecksville Mayor is an easy choice for me. It’s the teenage girl who complimented my hair without provocation. 💁🏻‍♀️

[ktchev @ktchev]

So like when an abusive bf buys you flowers days after beating the shit out of you. Cool cool cool cool cool.

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

I just announced $100 million for humanitarian assistance in Gaza and the West Bank.

This money will support over 1 million displaced and conflict-affected Palestinians.

And we will have mechanisms in place so this aid reaches those in need – not Hamas or terrorist groups.

[ktchev @ktchev]

@tammy_gucci It’s so gross. 🤮

[ktchev @ktchev]

Last night was my 20yr HS reunion. My friend Lauren couldn’t go, she’s in Napa. My friend Sheena couldn’t go, she’s in Barcelona. I didn’t go because I was in Munich….well….ockotberfest…in parma. I was in parma and I could have gone. But fuck em.

[ktchev @ktchev]

Found $5 in the pocket that’s probably from 2003 Warped Tour.

[ktchev @ktchev]

Not me standing in my open fridge dipping cold noodles into cold beef stroganoff.

[ktchev @ktchev]

How’s allergy season for you?

I’m doing great. Just told the pizza shop employee that I want to rub my eye until my eyeball falls out and doesn’t itch anymore.

So great.

[ktchev @ktchev]

Happy international womans day to the little girl who wakes up with blood in her underwear for the first time. Buckle up kid, it only gets worse. #womensrights #InternationalWomansDay

[ktchev @ktchev]

Me, taking a glance at all the things that need put away: “it’s cool I’ll get it tomorrow, I’m a morning person now”
My 3yr old throughout the night: “the fuck you are”

[ktchev @ktchev]

Insta-stalked a girl that was tagged in a friend’s story. Accidentally hearted a pic. So it’s been nice knowing you. I’m going to go with god now.

[ktchev @ktchev]

@BlazerRamon !!! Yes!!! There was a whole slow motion scene of dude climbing up the ladder 🥴

[ktchev @ktchev]

No one knows the shelf life of cocaine. Because, well, cocaine.