Kuri

He/Him | Lvl. 34 Femboy | Looking to commission a fursuit! | ⚠️Minors DNI⚠️

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

Kuri the Tanuki
#furry #furryart #femboy #OCㅤㅤ

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

Anybody that uses the term "client" in their posts I'm just going to assume is a bot or scammer.

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@juliyadraws Not even the tiniest bit

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

I'm new to #furrytwt
How long does the drama last before it switches over to something else usually?

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@venwxck Best slop

[Magenta7 @magenta7fox]

Badges #furryartㅤㅤㅤ
Telegram-commission Badge for (FA tags);
~frostywuff ~staticsky ~sleek34 ~lisophoria

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@flavius_ovis Feels like everytime I'm in the car with my grandpa and he wants to make sure I'm right with the lord

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@Apawdoe My experience has been hopping on grindr and giving people the illusion that I'm going to have sex and then just ghosting them because they are gross and not a furry

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@Kallifluff Yoooo does that not damage it?

[Statixz @Statixz_1]

He's done!!! So beautiful :333

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@LissaMendi @ZachTheFox Thank you! I'm a Tanuki named Kuri!

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@juliyadraws First thing I saw was a blow up over accepting a pizza delivery in your underwear that lasted like 2 days, and that was followed up by a community wide debate on babyfurs

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@brotherboofer

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

@DoggiestDoggy Please say sike, I'm 34 and only just looking into getting a fursuit

[Furry Clips (KiloRat) @kilorat]

Animal Control (Series) (2023)
- Furry party

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

How do I find the right fursuit maker that will take my commission and be able to work with what I want without running the risk of being scammed?

Any advice?
I need a maker that can work with longish hair on a suit and big fluffy tails. The suit would be for my oc
#fursuit

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

Lost my balls today.

Was standing at the deli trying to get hit food but kept getting ignored for customers that wanted subs made instead. Instead of saying something I just left without lunch.

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

It's kinda funny I've been a furry for 16 years, but only after I joined x and started posting regularly did I realize that furry drama was a thing

[Kuri @kurithefuri]

Genuinely why do people get on rollercoasters? They are actual murder machines.

Other actually insane decisions:
Skydiving
Bungee jumping
Spelunking
Cave diving