I raise you Nupe people…
More than a decade ago we went to Kwara State, to a small Nupe village there for a wedding. My grandma was living in that village… and from the moment we arrived, you could tell life there followed rules nobody really explained. You don’t announce when you’re coming, you don’t announce when you’re on the road, and you don’t even really announce when you’re leaving because something bad might happen to you.
My grandma wasn’t warm to us in public at all, always frowning, always shouting at us whenever people were around. But in private, she showed love in her own quiet way. If she openly showed too much affection again, something bad would happen to us. So she constantly warned us, like even joy itself was something dangerous in that place. She used to say if you act too happy, something terrible might follow.
One day, something happened that I still can’t fully explain if I wasn’t there…
About 80% of modern relationships survive only because the man keeps trying.
He’s the one calling, texting, providing, planning dates, giving gifts, handling the bills, and holding the emotional weight…
even when it feels like no one notices, or worse, takes it for granted. His efforts are the invisible scaffolding that keeps the relationship from crumbling.
The moment he stops whether from exhaustion, frustration, or being unappreciated everything often falls apart. Too many modern women forget that relationships aren’t meant to be one-sided.
Receiving alone isn’t enough; love requires effort, consistency, and shared responsibility. Emotional labor, practical support, and genuine investment from both partners are what sustain a bond over time. Without balance, even the deepest feelings can fade, leaving nothing to hold the relationship together.