A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero

new year, same deer

eastonsveryown : hologram jones. instagame: datqjmf

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

#### if looks could really kill,
Then my profession would be staring.
No. I do this because I care... not for a thrill.
#### collect calls to home
Tell them i realize everyone who lives will die::;
And die alone

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

Only the good die young. I am neither good nor young. So I will surely be fine. I am too scared to do it so I let these pills be the rifle.

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

What is wrong with me why do I just try for one thing and absolutely ruin everything and then I'm fuckin selfish again cuz I have no control and push everyone away and blame everyone and make excuses and it's never my fault it's always x y z

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I just wanted you to be careful. I just cared. And u can't relate to me, and I just tired to find the thing u could relate too. Cuz it's a spiral. And ur drinking at work. And ur doing drugs. And u have a degree I wish I had a degree.

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

And now I've hurt u to the point u told me to never talk to u ever again and then in the heat of the moment I ruined all the hard work I've been trying to put in and I can't keep failing I keep falling down and getting back up

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I hurt you when. I was trying to help you. Basically a bio for my entire life. I stepped on an ant one time and cried cuz it died. I didn't mean to kill it

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I failed u. Failed dad. Failed mom. Failed myself today. Stupid fucking selfish me. How do I keep getting up. I took everything I had and then I tried to throw it up and now I'm lost without a phone and I deleted my contacts and I am just waiting

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I have a first day of new job tomorrow, I have been working out, I have been fixing my shit, did you know I have two warrents for some stupid small claims shit and I was tryna fix that and cops see me n like oh. Like ur not worth our time

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

And I just wanted u to read that and be like damn Henry so wise wow I miss him so much and then I keep my promises where I get sober and u fall back in love with me and we can move in and start a family or something unrealistic

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. I am not being selfish right now. I just want mercy

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

My heart hurts from all the drugs I've taken and I am taking the rest I am done with begin selfish and hurting people who I love and never giving anything back and I finally pushed the best person to ever exist in my life out of it

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I am sorry

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

I am so lost . Lost in life. Lost in this city.

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

no hate jus hurt

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

im not mad its jus obvious u couldnt give a fuck wat i say or wat is going on in my life anymore an thats cool but i gotta be out rn like rfn

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

haha

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

“Death is so final, whereas life is full of possibilities''

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

i have literally never been more okay

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

brought to me by anxiety

[A Selfish Ghost, Under The Big Sombrero @kushnglass]

sad music, decaf weed, a couple of 40z, a head full of memories, and nothing but the most respect.