Kyle Walker

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@AmiriKing So what's the over/under on how long she lasts before she gets Epstein'd?

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@willlannon Okay but it's kinda nice tho. I get to spend my money and time on whatever I want without someone complaining. It's great. Very peaceful.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@franciscobmxer Absolutely not

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@jimmyjohns #13 add lettuce boi

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

Just @ me next time damn

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@MattSnyder00 I know it wasn't what he meant, but I really wish posty was talking about stockpiling guns and ammo in the event the government overreach overreaches too far

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@MattSnyder00 Oof, but same

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

You ever been so busy all the time that when you finally get a day to yourself, you get excited to catch up on all the adulting you weren't doing before, like cleaning up after yourself? That was me today. I got excited to go buy toilet cleaner and febreeze. That's not normal.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

Pickup lines, covid-19 edition.

I don't have the 'rona, but I still have shortness of breath thanks to you.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@emilybernard98 I wasn't sure if it was that or if he was trying to remember his wife after she passed. Either way, pass the tissues.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

So since both teams colors are red, white, and yellow, did they buy only 1 batch of confetti?

[H E A T H E R ◡̈ @heathermspell]

Jlo and Shakira’s asses. That’s it that’s the tweet. #PepsiHalftime

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@aurybradley I need to know how the story in that commercial ends.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

If 3 bartenders and 3 bouncers are telling you to get out of the bar because it's closing time, don't turn around and say "it's 2:27, closing time is 2:30 thank you"

That is a great way to end up face down on the sidewalk swallowing your teeth. Just saying.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

Next time someone asks me what I'm going to college for, imma tell them its kinda like engineering but I get paid better, I don't have to do calc, and I drink a shitload more than any engineering major has time for 🤙🤘 #industrialtech

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

Ok the fact that you have to wait for all 75GB of the new Modern Warfare to download then download the campaign and multiplayer packs is ENORMOUS dumb. Like what the flying blue fuck is in that 75GB of shit if it ain't the campaign or multiplayer?

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

I just took a DNA test, turns out, I can neither confirm nor deny that I may be, in fact, 100% that bitch.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

@aurybradley Bruh. Hard agree.

[Kyle Walker @kwalker645]

On top of feeding me all the time, taking me snowmobiling, taking me up to their cabin, and taking me to the races last weekend, Kaitlyn's parents want to know if I want to go fishing next weekend...

If they don't want grandkids by me, they better speak up now....