Chris

[Chris @kween_stine]

Do my boobs hurt because my period has come back or do they hurt because the 2 year old likes to leap off the couch directly onto my chest?

[Chris @kween_stine]

I miss smoking ciggies

[Chris @kween_stine]

The toddler has started saying “that sounds like a good plan” after I try to calm him down by explaining exactly what we are doing and when. Yes get your shoes on already very good plan

[Chris @kween_stine]

Seeing the whites of his eyes freaks me out a little

[Chris @kween_stine]

Cute: toddler loves to sing
Soul destroying: it’s the bob the builder theme over and over only singing the second verse

[Chris @kween_stine]

My favourite thing to do with the toddler is ask him “are you helping or hindering” to which he always responds “hindering!”

[Chris @kween_stine]

Vic Uni should be paying me from how much I promote their no atar VCE-VM/VPC pathways

[Chris @kween_stine]

Been giving so much career advice to VCE students on r/melbourne that kids are DMing me for advice

[Chris @kween_stine]

3 weeks post miscarriage and I’ve reinstalled instagram and am busy selecting “irrelevant” on every ad for double prams. I miss lurking my friends but I really wish the targeted ads would read the room

[Chris @kween_stine]

A pub with toys and footy 🤌

[Chris @kween_stine]

You know you’re really in pain when the endone doesn’t knock you out and instead gives you an intense craving for KFC

[Chris @kween_stine]

This but 2 years later with the threat of dropping his nap all together

[Chris @kween_stine]

baby: i’m tired
me: how about some sleep then
baby: no

[Chris @kween_stine]

“Again!”

[Chris @kween_stine]

It’s amazing how instantly a bath can calm an angry overtired toddler. You play with the bubbles for an hour buddy and I’ll have my wine

[Chris @kween_stine]

He threw the bath basketball at me and it knocked over my wine lol

[Chris @kween_stine]

Told the 2 year old that mums sad today and needs a cuddle. He said I’m sad because there is a Bob (from bob the builder) in my poo and to be not sad I just need to do a poo

[Chris @kween_stine]

2 years into having child and I still get ads for fancy nappy bags. Hunny I just shove a nappy and some wipes in my bum bag. I’m not buying you’re oversized tote with 50 pockets

[Chris @kween_stine]

Whatever this not RSV not Covid not flu cold I have is fucking awful. Ears are blocked and aching, nose skin is peeling it’s so dry and I can’t walk up the stairs without dying