Kyle Foster

Non-transferable

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@Dalkey_Archive Are there currently any plans for a reprint of Witz?

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

It too can be yours for the low, low price of $129.95 + S&H

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

To be fair, Blaze got quite a few head injuries on American Gladiators RT @DrPhil: Blaze claims his brother is using his alleged mental illness to control his parents’ lives. #DrPhil

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@fucrate Wi$e choice!

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@SecretHitler a Christmas version of Secret Hitler called "Secret Santa" where Hitler is santa, fascists are elves and liberals are children trying to deduce who the real Santa is. Instead of enacting policy you make checks to a "naughty" or "nice" list.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@fucrate a Christmas version of Secret Hitler called "Secret Santa" where Hitler is santa, fascists are elves and liberals are children trying to deduce who the real Santa is. PM me so I can give you details on where to send the royalty checks.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@IBEW354 Matt Chapman is a leader by example. He inspires excellence through his actions and displays pride for the ibew
#leader2me #ibew354

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

LIFE TIP: Pulling out your home made sexy fireman calendar won't impress anyone at your interview with Staples.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

A cashier forgot to charge me for a loaf of rye once so I guess you could say I'm the bread winner.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

2+2 always makes for another double date I'm not invited to.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@AMCTalkingDead Can @JimGaffigan be the Kathy Lee to your Regis?

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

Because free money #EsuranceSave30

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

@Dhenson913 @BeccFoster Cannibal Corpse

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

I hope Adam likes the Twilight/Lord of the Rings erotic fan fiction I wrote about him #HondaCivicTour

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

Nicknamed my elbow "the bass" so I can drop it on some fools during backyard wrestling.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

Can anyone tell me why stealing a kid from an orphanage is illegal because all my lawyer can do is tell me this was my third strike.

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

My spaghetti won't twirl itself around my fork, Mom.

[Dr. Bucky Isotope, PhD Bioplasticity @BuckyIsotope]

Papa don’t bleach
You look like such a creep
Papa don’t bleach
You’re making your children weep
-what I assume Guy Fieri’s kids sing

[Kyle Foster @kyleafoster]

Because everything is funnier coming from a dinosaur with a helmet on.

[I think I’m funny 🤷🏻‍♂️ @iAmDelFreaky]

On Saturdays, I teach a one day self defense class in my garage.

I charge $50 per person for a handful of sand, to throw in people's eyes.