Kyle

🌙 🏯🌊

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Bro 1 (Single): "Yo let's go clubbin' dis weekend"
Bro 2 (Married): "Wipe my ass!" (Translated backwards: "Ask my wife")
#BackWordz

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

"I wouldn't be caught dead living in the Philippines!"

Because you're not really living if you're dead, right?

#Overheard
#Reflections

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

@WSI_Remedy @Traumatizingg @BattleBeaverC I’m not sure - someone from @BattleBeaverC should confirm this... enjoy and happy fragging, my friend

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

@BattleBeaverC disappointed in the product I’ve bought from you a few months ago. This is order number: 45696

Not even a full year of normal use, and I’m already getting left analog stick drift. Now I have to send it in, pay for shipping & repairs, then wait 2 months. Great. 😐

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

*pointing at butt* .. there're many reasons I think we should be dating.. but the biggest one's here in your pants.

dude: *thinks she likes toned glutes*
gal: *actually referring to thick wallet*

🔀

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Gym Trainer: (doing arm reps) Extend.. and then.. extend.. and then.. extend.. and then...
*double time*
AND THEN, AND THEN, AND THEN, AND THEN, AND THEN, AND THEN!

#dudewheresmycar

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

@OnelifeFitness Terribly disappointed in this gym’s charging policies. You make cancelling memberships more difficult than they should be. For this reason, I simply cannot recommend your gym to anyone.

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

@e_r_i_c_k_a Desperate times? Time to introduce cousin Steve... 😂
#imdesperatetoo

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Ofc Mate: ... How many holes does a straw have?

Me: Both ends make a single hole. Think hole-istically.

#DadJokes. A symptom of being almost 30.

#fortunecookieswisdom

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

If it's wrongly false, does that mean it's true?

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

🎶 take a 💩, gotta take a 💩
#future

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Heard the nastiest fart in the gym today..

It sounded like an angry Donald Duck drowning in a pool of gravy.

#gas

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Anong oras ang pinaka-chill?
'Ala stress...

#idienow

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

X-men: The Last of Us
#Logan

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

I like #Nintendo's plug here 👌

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

🎶 Baby I don't need dollar bills to have fun tonight
*I LOVE CHEEZ CURLS™!* 🎶

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Wakaranai... Seemed so wrong, but now it seems so right
Oh what a rady, wakaranai...

-JeruseyBoysDesu
#japspeak

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Dad (Re: Sick Relative): Kawawa naman - kulang na siya sa vitamin.. deficiency.

Me: Eh di... Marami pala siyang vitamins? 😏

#GoodProblems

[Kyle @kylekcastro]

Dad: Ituloy mo ang tula -
"Ang taong may prinsipyo.."?

Me: "..ay hindi nagsisipilyo"