Kyle

…..

[jake @wormpuller]

I drank chug jugs in places you wouldn’t sip minis at

[John Halo @EpicMasterChief]

I think I'm gonna go to a movie catered to teenagers who read creepypasta all day and then act shocked when they have no social conditioning

[Kyle @KyleLarge]

I just made a life changing hotdog

[BAKED TOFU NATIONALIST @ohwowcrazy]

There's an infinite combo here. Need some card draw and an enchantment that does damage to my enemies every time I buy a bible.

[Greg the Sorcerer @gregthesorcerer]

High level arch wizard dating their lowly apprentice who can barely even cast a cantrip call that a problematic mage gap

[flanthippe @flanthippe]

I'm glad you asked. One thing that sets me apart from the other candidates for this position is that I am honor bound to the warrior code of Bushidō,

[chad @chasedbywasps]

I'm more powerful than you now. due to the amulet

[🌋 @hum_dunkin]

Vulture-sized mosquito lanced my shipmate and drank him like a capri sun he was pale skin and bones in 2 seconds flat

[fishious @fishquichee]

Showing up 20 minutes late to work with a huge ice cream cone

[Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91]

YouTube employee: Yes there will be more ads, but after 15 seconds, users can skip them.

Boss: How long are the ads if they don't hit the "skip" button?

Employee: Roughly 6 hours

[Filthy Weeaboo @Homu_Fan]

@SkinnyTuna Bro, you gotta get a side hustle! There's so many job opportunities, you can be a crypto scammer, racist podcaster, AI slop Youtuber, engagement bait farmer, sexist podcaster, Kick nuisance streamer, homophobic podcaster, Pokemon card scalper,the possibilities are endless!

[khloe @762x54RAWR]

everyone at work being like “but but but retirement” do yall not realize how bad these people are scamming you?? theyre taking money from every paycheck for a future you might not live. money that is only losing value. live now

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

me: he's a glove that sells hamburger helper
girl looking at the posters in my room: no i get it

[Cheese 🧀🏳️‍⚧️ @gaycheesegirl]

you start doing bad in one game and you start questioning if you have what it takes to live as a person

[epic cat looking galaxy glasses @FaggotLabubu]

jerking off in one fell swoop like a samurai unsheathing his sword

[Kyle @KyleLarge]

They cast Kevin Hart to play Mohg, Lord of Blood

[ELDEN RING @ELDENRING]

The live-action movie adaptation of #ELDENRING, produced by the studio A24 in partnership with Bandai Namco and filmed for IMAX, is slated for release on March 3, 2028.
Production will begin in Spring 2026, and the full cast has been announced. Learn more: https://t.co/WyyyXMkiUF

[Avery Edison @aedison]

ME: i’m sick and tired of being set upon by the baron’s hounds
HER: Maybe stop hopping the fence into his estate?
ME: sympathy not solutions plz
HER: I’m so sorry, that sounds painful. I know you’re trying really hard to get The Baron’s priceless egg.
ME: it should be MY egg :(

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

I can always tell when someone has lost control in their personal life. They go overboard in the workplace.

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

[JoeLongBalls @JoeLongBalls]

I somehow wound up agreeing to a duel after a night at the tavern and this asshole shows up with two swords. I had my buddies who were waiting in the bushes shoot him with crossbows. I mean we were gonna do that anyway but I wasn't going to humor that dual wield buffoonery