Kyle John

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@megfunderburk Anytime I got stuck buying them I would call and ask em how big they need and how heavy is their flow, making sure everyone around heard and felt uncomfortable

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

Is it bad how much I enjoy this picture? https://t.co/3DaWxRTyxh

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

Moister than an oyster is probably my new favorite saying, I wish I had a vagina so it would be less creepy when I said it

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@Darren_B_Watson 😂😂😂 not gonna reply the way I wanted to, well played

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@Darren_B_Watson You say the same thing about giving blowjobs in the parking lot?

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@Darren_B_Watson I was a fan until you mentioned the bun bub

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@Darren_B_Watson Oh My Gay....

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

When my response to "what ended a crush" is what finally got me on… https://t.co/YoiFKhy2CD

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@nairbegap I've always been disgusted that no teachers tried to fuck me. I feel like that goes against white privilege or something.

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

The radio station in the shop has been playing Taylor swift for an hour and I'm shitting fairies

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@matticuspratt I'll take it, we both win. I'm a year closer to death and you are succeeding as an adult

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@matticuspratt Probably gonna work that day, I'll see if my roommates wanna do something for me. Like a cake or whatever

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

@matticuspratt Damn, I have a birthday coming up?

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

Congrats Houston, now that I got that out of the way. Fuck you Astros, go Rangers.

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

Man hack:
Been working on cars all day and can't get the grease off your hand?
Just rub one out.
Not only is your hand clean, but your dick appears larger because it is now black.

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

Remember college when social media would be covered in girls barely dressed? Then you get older and it's covered in kids as their favorite super hero. Yeah that part is kind of horseshit

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

But...he is floating https://t.co/YoedNIXmst

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

How easy is it to disown a child for chanting "Go Eagles"?

Asking for a friend

[Kyle John @kylemuldner]

The example must have been a black penis with those faces https://t.co/R6sL9Xxl9I

[Us Against the World @Russery12]

I think I'm going to randomly play the Rains of Castamere at my wedding and just wait for people to start looking around afraid