Kyri

MIT Swimming ‘22

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Watch out 😈😩💯👅💦 @StanfordFball #D1Bound

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

@brianjli72 I'm da king of SoHo

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

“Taste is the only moat” I mutter to my girlfriend as I purchase a $300 Kith shirt over her vocal objections

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

You’d think the line worker at Chipotle was the CFO himself the way he skimps on my scoops

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

"real heroes don't wear capes" yeah nobody really wears capes

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Tech guys be ignoring their gfs to tweet about AI model releases… bro you’re worried about the wrong Gemini

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Do they make an Ozempic for guys who can’t stop staying up until 3 AM reading about card magic

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Spent the day vibe reading. You just take pictures of each page and ask GPT to explain it. I’ve never learned so much 🙌

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Spending my entire birthday collecting loyalty rewards. Currently on my 4th iced coffee and just canceled dinner with my girlfriend to claim a 15% discount at North Face.

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

I don’t see the point in saving money when the world is clearly gonna end soon

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

This deep, guttural rage I feel while driving is surely caused by traffic conditions and nothing else

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Every day I send my breadwinner girlfriend 3 tweets about being unemployed and 1 tweet about how much I hate getting out of bed

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Hitting a parlay feels so good. Like I literally knew that was gonna happen, and then it did.

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

“horror movies aren’t scary dude they’re not even real” yeah but like what if they were

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Don’t reply to work emails too fast, you’ll come off as desperate

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

I feel like if I was late to work I could win the Olympics in speed walking

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Walking somewhere in 15 minutes after Google maps says it’ll takes 18

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Only voting for Trump so he can run this country from prison like El Chapo

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

It’s criminal that there are 10 planet of the apes movies and not a single one is titled “gorilla warfare”

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

No clue why kids aren’t allowed to be chimney sweeps when they are the literal perfect size to fit inside chimneys

[Kyri @kyrichen24]

Buying a Dunkin box o’ Joe and sitting there until I finish my screenplay