Bertha Clot

Louis | lapsed witch, Michelle McManus’ number 1 opp

[bald ann dowd @ali_sivi]

every day i wake up and look in the mirror and say be gentle with yourself today you stupid fucking bitch

[descriptive display name that is way too long and @mrgracemugabe]

imagine george r r martin adjusting his little sailor's cap. carefully smoothing his beard, snapping the straps of his suspenders and then going absolutely monster berserk on your pussy

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

I felt a glimmer of sexual arousal but then I saw that a porn star every gay follows has a "This is where the magic happens" neon sign above his bed and my body began to mimic the process of chemical castration

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

@theangelgabrii I don't mind it but it absolutely does taste like someone put hand sanitiser in a glass of blood orange San Pellegrino

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

@lozicus I think he’s trying to make the case that a song is only good if it transcends every genre, which is like… not how songs are made

[Deacon Blues @dribrats77]

Asking the stripper if she wants to listen to Steely Dan with me

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

You realise it’s because they’re no longer able to play the style of music they literally trained a lifetime for, right? This is not some Tommy Talarico “gaming racism” or snobbery. They’re upset the landscape of their entire careers has shifted

[𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖊 🕯 @atlanticesque]

I read somewhere that, increasingly, the only profitable thing an orchestra can do is perform video game music

And apparently all these classical musicians are *really* annoyed by that

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

I learned two things in the boys brigade: the lord's prayer, and the "nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think I'll go and eat worms" song

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

how do we feel about Cain Culto?

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

I saw Martha Reeves and The Vandellas years ago at a festival. The Vandellas were great. Martha, however, could only do about half of each song before she went backstage to sit down and a hype man would come out and go “GIVE IT UP FOR MARTHA REEVES!”

[Kendall Baker @kendallbaker]

Absolutely nothing could have prepared me for the national anthem at the first Women’s Pro Baseball League tonight

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

it should be illegal to be mean to me when I'm ill (always)

[microplastics nanobubbler @facetedcarapace]

Great post. Love that it evokes the inhumanity and terror of Hiroshima and Nagasaki while being incredibly horny and desperate.

[RuPaul @RuPaul]

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music”~Nietzsche

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

@sarcsausageroll I'd love to see the entire gay guy oomf ecosystem crumble based on follower rankings

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

went to the GP and I have a chest infection and antibiotics lmao

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

think I have a mild chest infection so of course I am fully convinced that the pneumonia is back and I am going to drown in my lungs. doesn't help that my chest drain scar keeps throbbing... it yearns for the tube

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

LET HER IN

[Slow Travel Berlin @slowberlin]

Last Sunday afternoon we did a tour through Friedrichshain for the American Women’s Club (@awcberlin) and came very close to losing one of the participants to Berghain. Luckily she was spotted trying to blend in with the crowd and we managed to get her away in time 😅

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

they're just changing the strain because apparently my psych has given them a cap that could be changed but they just kind of can't be bothered contacting them

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

medical cannabis consultation this morning where I have to convince them to give me more flower because the sublingual oil does nothing

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

@sarcsausageroll I think a cheaper option would work purely because it's not gonna be your full-time job and you won't have time to make the same amount of content as the ones charging 10 bucks

[Bertha Clot @kyrnus]

writing this generation's Ulysses purely so I can go on Hot Ones and shit myself on camera