jade *෴*

i’m just kidding. maybe. probably.

[𝓒𝓸𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓭𝓮𝓻 🏴‍☠️ @c0mmandderr]

i can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while im not home

[sarah hagi @KindaHagi]

doing reverse pomodoro where i work for 5 minutes and then spend 25 minutes looking at sunglasses online

[h @jamtoastaurchai]

your 20s are for figuring out what's the max number of times you can hit rock bottom in a calendar year

[Sydney Battle @SydneyBattle]

do NOT dm me to ask if i want to be a sugar baby. VENMO me $500 and ask the same question, you freak

[Timuoxi Cha Le Mei @ch1cken_t3nder]

I’ve lost years of my life to 2-factor authentication

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

not me being on this bird app for half my life

[Chris @iamchriscorooo]

what’s it called when ur delusional but self aware

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

thinking about all the random girls I've met in the bathroom of a club or a bar who have my number

[Peter TOTO💜 @petermarietoto]

7x3=21 has always been cunt. even as a 3rd grader i could recognize that

[John Summit @johnsummit]

IM FEELIN AMAZING!!!!!!

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

I need therapy just to get over my real actual depression from knowing that I will never experience Metro’s Coachella set again…….. that was… true happiness

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

@khuuushh HAHA this is my unhealthy but healthy coping mechanism

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

mistakingly went 4 days without sparkling water and went through withdrawals. I hit up the grocery store at 930pm and stockpiled 40 cans. now I open 2 flavors at once and mix it like my own lil sparkling water cocktail….. is this a cry for help?

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

(me, 5 ft tall) when your 5'11 friend has to text you to give you a heads up she'll be wearing heeled boots to dinner so that you can prepare yourself for looking even more like a small child next to her

[John Bai @johnbai]

bro let's go skiing in tahoe bro it only takes 3 hours to drive 1 mile from the $800/night airbnb bro please we can split a 4-piece chicken tendies for $28 and head back down to sf at 11pm to avoid traffic

[jade *෴* @l0vejade]

how dare my job make me work on this Chinese New Year Sunday.......not very gong hei fat choy of them......