hummusbird

Making myself laugh, etc

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

The cool thing about being bloated is if you place your hand on your stomach while on public transportation, people will give up their seat for you

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Same lol

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

I’m way too tired to go to sleep rn

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Me tooooo

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

@raychelyearsley @Eric_Erins Thank you so much 🥹❤️❤️❤️

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

@samsutliff @wickedwanddust @Eric_Erins 🥲 lol.. it’s for me. Every time I try to DIY something it goes to SHIT - that’s why I hire people

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

@Eric_Erins Are you talking about me hahahahahaha 😅

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

It’s been 2 years and you’ve lost most of it just fyi

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Can someone remind me about this tweet in 4 years so I can check and see how rich I became on crypto

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

A sneaky selfie in the Lyft but the flash goes off

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Signing a contract on a park bench

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

I wish there was a modern-day version of Pimp My Ride but it’s called Pimp My Appliance and it’s just @xzibit coming to my personal apartment and installing handmade unlacquered brass handles on my refrigerator and stove

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Was stoop kid actually afraid to leave his stoop or did he just like the attention

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Does Gen Z still say “bless you” when someone sneezes?

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Referring to your coworkers as fans

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

8am keto cookie

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Buying a toyota and using the instagram caption Hercedes Benz

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Lose my number

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

I was getting my hair cut and my stylist said something in passing about me having a lot of hair so yes I will be riding that high for the next 365 days

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Bess can’t go there

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

How many tabs do you guys have open

I’m at 34

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

Just tried lowering the volume of an actual ambulance with the buttons on the side of my phone how is everyone else doing this week

[hummusbird @l3rigette]

I’m not saying my mental state has changed over the last few years—all I’m saying is today I heard myself tell my cat to make haste