Lloyd

All tweets are either extremely sarcastic or tediously serious. There is no middle ground. He/Him.

[Lloyd @L__J__B]

Lockdown 2: Day 2

Just sent off one of our books on maintaining metal that is over a decade old.

I don't know who it's for but I'm geussing Prince Andrew.

I mean who else would want a book about handling a 15 year old brass?

#LockdownLibrarian

[Blue6oy @blue6oy]

“What is the charge? Telling the truth? The succulent, unadulterated truth?!”

[Sevilla FC @SevillaFC_ENG]

When it’s the third international break of the season and it’s only November

[Joe Lycett @joelycett]

I miss her every single day

[Troll Football @TrollFootball]

Arsenal 😂

https://t.co/YUOFOW4KwH

[Ron @Ronhotspur]

IM IN TEARS 😭😭😭

[Shebang @goshebang]

Totally irresponsible for the @BBCSport to be encouraging fans to get stuck into the crowd trouble #WBAWOL

[Janty @CFC_Janty]

Fulham vs the big 6 this season

Spot the imposter 😭😭😭

[Sevilla FC @SevillaFC_ENG]

Things the international break does to people…

[Mike @MikeGNolan]

My opinion, this talk of a replay or "exploring options" is exactly that, talk

The REAL endgame here is to make sure every official remembers this reaction when they ref Liverpool

If they are going to give a decision against LFC, they want the ref to know what happens. This.

[The Telegraph @Telegraph]

🚨 Yevgeny Prigozhin has been killed in a private jet crash. The Wagner mercenary boss was on board the aircraft when it crashed killing all 10 passengers, authorities have said.

Follow our live blog here ⤵️ https://t.co/NpS2ZF9lk6

[🇸🇪 @axelthfc]

Kane is 30 y/o with a year left on his contract,

1st bid £59m
4th bid £100m + £20m in add-ons

That’s quite impressive from Levy, strictly talking about negotiating.

[Ethan @thfcem28]

Tottenham signing a centre back

[Julian Shea @juliansheasport]

As of today, #NadineDorries has spent longer resigning with immediate effect than #liztruss spent in Downing Street.

[Keith Burge @carryonkeith]

If only the Government had pursued suppliers of dodgy PPE with the same vigour with which it hounded the Chief Executive of a bank who didn’t put anybody’s life at risk.

[David__Osland @David__Osland]

The phrase 'Bob's your uncle' originated in 1887, when Tory prime minister Lord Robert Salisbury gave his nephew a cabinet position. In 2023, we say 'Boris is your father' instead.

[Louise Jones @Lazza1307]

I have two tickets to #Newsies tonight for sale. Asking for price I paid (£60 each) or less. Covid has ruined plans again! @newsies_uk Area of theatre Manhattan Row Q.

[Lloyd @L__J__B]

Right wing tossers raging about the free markets Right to Association is beautifully ironic.

The same type of people who are fine with a bakery refusing a lesbian couple a wedding cake due to their sexuality lose their minds at a bank not wanting to be associated with a bigot.

[Suella Braverman @SuellaBraverman]

The Coutts scandal exposes the sinister nature of much of the Diversity, Equity & Inclusion industry. Apparently anyone who wants to control our borders & stop the boats can be branded ‘xenophobic’ & have their bank account closed in the name of ‘inclusivity’. 1/2