lindsey perez

I love Jesus but I drink a little

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@tesssuhdude This is my nightmare

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

My life. All day, every day

[Jay Nedaj @JayNedaj]

Kids be like “Watch this” then do a jump and spin wasting my fucking time

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

WHYYYYY do people feel the need to post a picture of their pregnancy test when they announce they are having a baby?! YOU PEED ON THAT. Do you think we need proof of the child in your uterus? We believe you. It's fine. Throw that shit away #UnpopularOpinion

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

My diet plan is putting my ice cream in the basement freezer becuase I'm too lazy to walk down there to get it #pregnant

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@tesssuhdude Hahaha I've done it!
Sephora has a tan remover!!! I think isle of paradise makes it! Maybe try that 😂

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@tesssuhdude I aspire to be Lisa

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@tesssuhdude I can guarantee you my mortgage on our 3,000 SQ ft house is at least half the price of your rent 😬😬 which is why we left the city hahaha

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I know my husband is a keeper because my slaps my ass and tells me it's looking nice, even in my maternity leggings. #goals

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I want to know which person was like "you know what we really need, ANOTHER Ant-Man movie!" Because nobody said that. Nobody wanted this.

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

Tamales on their way to my house 😍🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 #friday

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

My husband is at his Mexican grandma's house right now and I'm just hoping he brings home tamales 😍😍😍

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I know I'm getting old because I think 21 Savage and 21 pilots is one band 🤷🏻‍♀️ #idontlistentoeither

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@kts8up Someone told me that "gray" is the American way and "grey" is European 🤷🏻‍♀️ I somehow use both

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@JKinzie El Chapo and Kim Jong-un are currently working on a plan for us together 😂

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

Fed my toddler fruit loops for the first time this morning
Toddler “this is AMAZING” 😂😂

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I bought 12 boxes of girl scout cookies yesterday #noshame

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I just brushed my teeth, took my contacts out, took my makeup off, moisturized my face. Getting ready to crawl in to bed and drift off to sleep. Went to charge my phone for the night and realized it was 7:45..... #thisisadulting

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

3 y/o - mom what are you eating?
Me shoving the rest of my cookie in my mouth so I don't have to share- carrots....
#parenting

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

I find it so hypocritical that assisted suicide is illegal in most states, but abortion isn't. Your body your choice right? So doctors can help you kill your unborn child but can't help you kill yourself when you're in extreme pain and dying already? #interesting

[lindsey perez @l_scheck]

@_simone_14 Hahahaha I have a couple as a single friend and I only know her, and she's usually the one who posts. She graduated college though and her husband posted pictures of her saying "so proud of you babe" and I was like..... Is she proud of herself? Then I realized he does use it 😂