well as my ocd once very wisely put it: if i do this wrong everyone will see me for who i really am and hate me forever and my life will be over and i will die and everything will be so incredibly terrible oh the pain i can't stop the pain i'm dying i'm dying ahhhhh.
i wish you would understand how hard i am trying to live & that as pathetic and pitiful my attempts may seem this is still me struggling to survive