Harry Nipples

You'd think it would be easy to come up with one line without sounding crazy or full of myself.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Is this still a thing?

I finally thought of a joke.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Douchebag hats. http://twitpic.com/3069sr

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Remember when we used to tweet multiple times a day?

I know! Right?!?

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Just finished the yearly vacuuming of the bed.

Ladies?

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I would sleep with ANY of the people on America's Test Kitchen.

Just sayin'.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I can't believe there's a drug to help women make tears. Just give them a night* in the bedroom with me.

* a few minutes

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Day off of work because no school today. Watching Price Is Right and feeling so much better about myself.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I'm reading a 250 page technical document but only looking at the pictures. Finished in 5 minutes. Yep, I'm ready for management.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I just saw a student driver honk at and flip off another driver. He must be an honors student.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

The tailgate party is now starting. Toledo is coming to town and we need to be good and drunk by then.
#bronconation

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

This pizza is soooo good. It's way better than not eating.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I missed a whisker shaving my upper lip this morning. Do I pluck it or just pretend it's not there, like grandma used to do?

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I like Mexican beer so I can't wait for twist-off bottle cap technology to reach Mexico.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Eating lots of spicy food lately, because I hate my anus. Apparently.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Did I feed the fish today?

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

After a week of eating hotdogs and/or bagels for lunch, I've come to the conclusion that food shaped like genitalia is delicious.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

Checking Craigslist for a new Sherona.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

A drug named Boniva I assume it's for erectile disfunction. I'm a bit disturbed that Sally Fields is the spokesperson.

Also, turned on.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

I've had so much sausage in my mouth this week that the cable company just removed the military channel.

[Harry Nipples @LaceyMark]

@thebenbrooks Not sure the buildup was worth it.